Magcon Imagines/Preferences

You Attempt Suicide II

Shawn:

I had a little fight with Shawn today, well not little it was pretty big, we were both crying and he told me to leave. it was at first about something stupid but then it turned into a big hysterical fight. not physical. very emotional, when I got home my parents were out, as usual, they hate being home or around me, they think I'm a mistake. I started breaking down crying, not only was I bullied in school, I also had family problems, my mom is a drug addict and my dad left, now I have a step dad, who also doesn't like me. Shawn was my only happiness and now I've managed to ruin that, if we don't make up I may never see him again, he's getting bigger everyday. he's got girls crawling to his feet. he could have a new girl in the matter of seconds. why would he want me? I'm a worthless,ugly,fat lifeless bitch. I hate myself. I'm so sad. I want it to end. I cried to myself breaking down.

"I hate myself" I repeated bawling. I got up and ran into my room. I grabbed my hidden blades from when I use to cut and I cut my thighs and wrist. blood poured and I cleaned it up, well tired anyway. I cut too deep I guess, the blood wouldn't stop coming. I couldn't stop crying, I hate myself, I kept saying. I went to my mom and step dads room, he had a rail hanging for pull ups. I grabbed a rope from the garage and took a chair. still crying I fixed the rope into a perfect suicide knot and put the chair under it. it take approximately 15 minutes for me to die. only 15 minutes of more pain, I guess. I didn't even think. I stood up on the chair. then the door bell rang, I didn't lock the door and I just wanted to die, I heard Shawn's voice echo. but I ignored him banging at the door and his yells, but it was nice to know that his voice was the last thing I'll hear. I put the rope around my neck and then I heard foot steps coming my way. I panicked so much that I pushed the chair and it fell leaving me struggling to breathe, I couldn't breathe at all and I struggle, but there wasn't anything I could do, my eyes got heavy but I was only there for a few seconds, just swinging. the pain was unbearable. I heard Shawn in the door way crying and screaming. he ran over to me lifting me up and putting my weight onto his shoulders. he was tall so it lifted my neck from being strangled by the rope. he helped me down and I breathed heavy and coughed. I was crying and all I wanted to do was cry. he held me tight while crying.

"WHYYY? OH GOD WHY? Y/N" he cradled me.

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! DONT SCARE ME LIKE THAT! IM LOST WITHOUT YOU!" he bawled, being me to lie down on my bed. he lied next to me and held me close he stroke my hair and softly sang to me, a soft song, besides you by 5 seconds of summer and I fell asleep with tear stained cheeks, and breathing, still alive and with the one I love by my side.

Matthew:

I was just with Matthew, but he feel asleep on the couch. my parents were out and I guess he was sleeping over. I put a blanket over him, I was just finishing senior year, I was still getting bullied, I hadn't told Matt because I didn't want him to worry about me. I thought id be okay, I've been bullied since 5th grade. it's terrible, people keep saying,

'Let me see you eat that, I'm going to shove it down your throat so you choke'

'Kill yourself' 'everyone wishes you were dead'

'Matt dosent love you'

'Everyone hates you. die'

'Fat.ugly.fat.ugly' 'whore'

It's all getting to me, I know i shouldn't let it, but it is. I'm so depressed and I'm so done with faking a smile. IM DONE!

I went to the kitchen a grabbed a knife for cutting peppers and all that. it was sharp. I ran to the bathroom, I sat down and softly cried so Matt didn't hear. I held up my right wrist and just looked at it. there were no cuts because I cut where no one can see.on my side or thigh. I searched for the perfect vein, I found one. and I held the knife to it. I was too scared too. I'm such a pussy, I cried some more. I'm a fat whore. I want to die. I held it up to my wrist but not where a vein was shown. I made five super deep large cuts. I screamed.

"AHH IT HURTS!" I cried. it was a different level of pain. but I liked it. I bawled and the blood wouldn't stop! it kept going and lied down on the floor surrounded by a pool of blood. my sight flashed and got darker. I heard Matt scream my name and him running up stairs. then he cried and screamed.

"Y/N WHYY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS" he picked me up bridal style. and bring me outside . he held me in his arm and called the ambulance.

"Oh hey matt" i smiled. "Y/N PLEASE! YOUR DYING! I LOVE YOU! I NEED YOU. I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU, YOU COMPLETE ME!" He cried then talked to himself.

"I can't believe I didn't know about this, or about how your so sad, this is my fault"

I cried "I hate myself! I cause to many problems, YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME DIE!" I cried

"IM NEVER LETTING YOU GO!" he cried and kissed my forehead and tried to keep pressure on my cuts with a cloth until the ambulance arrived.

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PART 2 ! WOO! WHAT DID YOU THINK?

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