Hope

Chapter 8 - Final Thoughts

Lucian stirred on his bed and slowly opened his eyes. He looked around and saw that nobody was there and the light was turned on as it was dark outside. He looked at the clock and saw that it was already midnight. He tried moving, but his body was too weak to do anything. He turned to his left, and saw that the chair was in different position from he remembered.

"Celia..." Lucian whispered weakly, then remembered something, "Oh yeah... Write something... to her..."

Lucian made his best effort to reach the bed lever so he could sit up before reaching his notebook and pencil. He opened the bloodstained book and was going to start writing on the clean first page, but he hadn't got the slightest clue what he should be writing about until he remembered Celia's complaints ever since she started visiting him.

"That's right... She complained... a lot... I think... I should tell her... what she... should... be doing..." Lucian's whisper was almost inaudible, even to himself.

A small drop of blood came out from his mouth, Lucian wiped it away before he started writing. He started with a few short sentences, but the words itself contained a wise meaning. He reread the words, but then shook his head as he was unsatisfied with them. He drew an X in front of them and wrote more below them.

After a while of writing, the first and second pages were filled with words, but all of them had an X each as Lucian considered them to be bad. He ripped the sheet and curled into a ball before throwing it into the garbage can on his right side of the bed. He continued writing more and more on the next pages, but he didn't feel like he was writing the best wise words.

He ripped the second sheet and curled it into a ball before throwing it into the garbage can. His head was getting dizzier and dizzier while more blood started leaking from his mouth. He wiped them off, but he coughed more blood and colored his hospital clothes, blanket, and sheet with red blood color. His hands were trembling, but he forced himself to hold the pencil firmly before he continued on writing.

'Celia... The kindest person I have ever met... She deserves more than this... She needs hope... and I want to become that hope...' Lucian thought as he started writing once more.

At the same time, Celia was writing a letter for Lucian in her bedroom. The whole room was dark, with the lamp on her desk as the only light source. Celia was sitting on her desk, writing her letter despite being sleepy and tired herself. She tried to forget the sleepiness and tiredness, and tried to think back about her past experiences with Lucian.

'Lucian was the kindest guy I've known in my entire life. Even my best friends don't help me as much as Lucian does,' Celia put her glasses away for a while and rubbed her tired eyes before putting them back on and continued thinking, 'I'm not a writer, but I want to write something that will impress an excellent writer like him...'

Pages by pages, sheets by sheets, they all turned into balls of paper in the garbage can. He had spent the past two hours writing and coughing out blood, but he hadn't find the best wise words to help Celia with her problems, whether it was personal or not. His hands were both covered with blood from his coughing, but he kept on writing. He had his will to repay for what Celia had done for him poured into the bloodstained pencil he was using.

Three hours had passed since midnight and Lucian was down to the last sheet of his book. His breathing had become hard and shallow. His heartbeat was getting weaker and weaker. His hands were trembling so badly that he had almost dropped his pencil. His vision was starting to get blurry, but he could see the words he had written a little.

Flipping the final sheet after finally writing the best words on the front, he stared at the blank page weakly. He let out a small but weak smile and started writing more, pouring out the very last of his thoughts in his life. His handwriting had become worse due to the fact that his hands were trembling and he was losing strength, but it was still clear enough to be read.

Finally finished the writing, Lucian put his notebook back on top of the drawer on his right along with the blood red pencil. He reached for the lever and lied down on the bed before his vision became more and more blurry until it finally turned black. Lucian let out his last smile, relaxing his tired eyes, body, arms, and legs.

'This... is... the time... My time... has come... Celia... I'm... very... s... sorry...' Lucian finally thought, before he could finally relax his heart.

The infrequent beeping on the heartbeat monitor went into a long beep as Lucian lied motionless on his bed, his last smile never leaving his face. After a long and hard journey fighting against his sickness with his weak heart he got since birth, Lucian could finally be free of the pain and have his eternal and peaceful rest.

Lucian could feel as if he was being lifted and was flown away, but he couldn't feel any pain on his chest anymore. He slowly opened his eyes and got up, being almost blindfolded by the bright light. He looked at the distance in front of him and saw three human figures. He approached them slowly until he recognized the two people on the left and right.

"Mother... Father..." Lucian smiled sadly, but then turned to see the man between them, "Who... is he?"

"He has known us all even before we were born," Lucian's father answered.

"He is the reason why you are born, the reason why we are born, and the reason why people are born," Lucian's mother added, smiling.

"I understand now... I now know that I have known Him in my entire life..." Lucian smiled before turning to the direction where he believed he had come from, "Celia... everyone... I will have to bide you farewell now... I hope you all have a happy life..."