It has been another long day. You had sat back with harry as he went through interview after interview staying quiet greeting your hosts with warm smiles answering occasional questions mostly staying out of the way. You and harry are finally resting at home, sitting on the couch together. harry's legs were bent and separated leaving just enough room for you to lay between them with your head on his chest. "You were very quiet today. Was.. I mean is everything okay?" he asks a bit worried. He rubs your back with one hand and taps a beat on his leg with the other. "I'm fine babe." You begin to feel a pressure and ache in your chest and quickly excuse yourself. "Um. I'm gonna go change." You stand kissing harry's cheek lightly without really looking at him. He stares after confused before resigning his attention to the T.V. You close the bedroom door leaning up against it fighting with the pressure in your chest brought on by your anxiety. You try gaining control of your short breath. Why does this happen? You know you love him but with the strength of that feeling comes an even stronger feeling of panic. Panic that threatens to rip your chest apart this very moment. No matter how much you love him you were afraid of him. You have felt this love before and every time it ended in bruises both physically and emotionally scarring. You shake your head. "Huh. Your so pathetic." you whisper to yourself. You believed in you heart that your beautiful ginger would never do that to you, but your heart won't let go of its barrier. Lately you have been feeling stuck in the shadow of your boyfriend which is a place that is only too familiar to you.. You smile darkly to yourself pulling it out into the light. Every ounce of abuse you have endured felt like venom in your body without any entry or exit to suck it back out it just sat there burning at your insides. Until years ago you decided to get it out yourself. At first you thought you were crazy.. This isn't you.. But the your pain began to dim. So you continued to drain the venom every time that you feel it fester beneath your skin. You slid the blade now along the crease in your arm watching the blood run down your arm you try keeping it off the carpet, but it doesn't stop flowing instead it only gets thicker. "What the hell?" you say looking deep into your skin to see that you have sliced a vein. "Shit." you mutter running to the bathroom making sure harry doesn't hear you. You manage to tie toilet paper around your arm to stop the bleeding or at least slow it down. "Come on love! We have to go ed is waiting on us!" harry yells to you from the bedroom. You almost forgot you were having dinner at ed's tonight. "Okay, I uh.. I'm coming!" you yell back to him as you finish cleaning up the mess your blood has made and slip on a new shirt. You go into your bedroom lacing your finger into harry's allowing him to tow you out the door. After you are greeted by Ed, Louis, and Niall with warm hugs you all sit out side eating and getting caught up in conversation. You look and harry's empty plate before deciding to take it inside along with yours. He stops you as you get up, grabbing your wrist gently. "Thank you sweetheart." he says with a loving smile. You smile back turning toward the house. You walk into the kitchen throwing the plates in your hand into the trash when you feel warmth trickle down your fingers "Damn it!" you grunt as you see your blood falling uncontrollably out of your arm. You pull up your sleeves revealing you recent and previous scars to tear off you makeshift bandage and tossing it in the trash. "y/n, what happened?" you hear Ed say from behind you making you jump and spin making you dizzy. He looks you over looking finally at your arm like it was something from a horror film... And that's what it feels like to you.. a horror film. You run into the bathroom before Ed has a chance to say anything. You turn on the sink and let the water run over your arm. The blood is like paste on your arm keeping you from seeing you skins true color. Your arm is extended in the sink when Harry's hand grabs your wrist holding it in place so he can wipe a clean rag around your deep cut. He takes alcohol out of the cabinet once your arm is clean splashing is to your arm. The sting makes you flinch, Harrys eye shift to your face and then quickly back to your arm. Then putting down the alcohol he picks up the ace bandage he sat on the counter earlier wrapping it softly yet securely around your wound. You watched him as he did this pushing tear from your eyes so they didn't blur his face. He was holding a mask of pure concentration he let no emotion go. When he finished he lifted lightly onto the bathroom counter. "I'm ready to listen when your ready to talk love." He said to you softly finally looking you in the eyes. You saw nothing but understanding in his eyes. You sighed tears still in your eyes. You looked down, too ashamed to look at him. "I'm not fine." you mutter. "i lnow baby ." he says to you. You look up at him in confusion. "Oh come on Babe,I know you better than you know yourself you think i dont notice that you flinch when i touch you or how you feel scared around me sometimes and when i say i love you you dont believe me I love you babe trust me believe me i mean it with every fiber in my skin i dont know what i would do without you plz dont be like this i am not like all those men you have been with before " he says his voice breaking.. looking down he grabs your hands. "I just.. I'm just scared." you say with a hoarse voice. "i understand baby" he says "How could you know how to do something you have never done before?.. None of those men really loved you babe, if they did they wouldn't have hurt you.. but I do love you and I will never hurt you that way. I will teach you how to love angel. That's why I'm here." he says tenderly bringing his hand to your tear streaked cheek. "i am not an angel" You ask dumbfounded by the love he is expressing to you. "Well, Baby you are my angel." he smiles . You breathe out putting your arms around his neck. You kiss him lightly and for the first time say, "I love you my curly angel." The anxiety is gone your chest is light and harry lets out a tear before kissing you with everything he has.than you boyh head out to where boys.
After about two hours you were very feeling tired."Babe can we go hone i am feeling really tired"you said to harry he looks at you and nodded. you both said your goodbye to boys and head home.
During the drive to home Harry was looking at you from tge corner of his eye.you knew he wanted to say something.
when you reach home you went to straight bathroom tp remove ypur makeup and to brush your teeth after that you went to closet to change into one of harry's shirt and a pair of his boxers when you got ready for bed you entered your room to see harry waiting for you on the edge of bed.when he saw you signaled you to come you walk towards him and he let you sit in his lap
"Babe i wants you to be honest with me from now on i dont wants to know something from others about you i wants to be the one to whom you cam openup completely I LOVE YOU more than anything"he said lovingly and kissing the top of your head.you smiled and kiss him.
"I love you too harry so much i am sorry for everything happend today but i peomise to be honest with you"you said.
Harry stood up with you in his arms and lay ypu down on bed and walk over to his side and lay down he pulls you to his chest and wraps his arms around your waist.
And you both fell asleep.
