Broken • Dolan Twins

S E V E N

I got to my house and didn't even bother going inside, given the fact that my dad was home and I wasn't prepared to listen about what happened at his interview. I got into my car and then pulled my keys out of my pocket. I started the car up and began pulling out of the driveway.

Somethings in life are meant to happen, and others just happen to test your limits and see how far you can make it before you give into the pressure. I'm at the edge of it all, trying so hard not to lose my grip and fall or give up.

I drove deep into the city. Where tall skyscrapers towered above me, standing above the clouds, reaching for the sun. Then I made my way out on some gravel backroads that lead me up a mountain.

I followed many bends and cliffs, trees and long grass surrounded me. At times there would be a small house or town on the side of the road that went by in a blink. I kept driving until I reached a small forest on the edge of a cliff and parked my car to the side of the road. 

I followed a beautiful path through the trees, flowers and wild animal life consumed my tragic thoughts I was having at the moment. The steady breeze made small whistle sounds as it weaved through the leaves above and the sunlight was pouring through the branches on the tall trees. I ended up on the edge of the cliff, surrounded by long grass and the sunlight soaking into my clothes.

I took in a deep breath and stared out at the beautiful view, how can there be so many beautiful hidden things on earth such as this, but I always somehow manage to find the ugliest parts? I get myself into troubles that I cant control.

I stood right on the edge and felt the wind blow against my back, thinking, if I was a feather I would have been whisked away and fallen peacefully into the scenic area below. Instead, I was just a girl, feeling useless, tired, hopeless, and broken...

I put my feet on the edge and looked onto the solid dirt that was probably 40 feet below me. I didn't realize how far I had driven because it took me so little of time. I let my toes hang over the edge and my body swayed with the wind, back, forth, back, forth.

I pulled the note from my pocket and laid it peacefully under a small stone at the edge then placed my arms out at my sides and let many thoughts run through my mind, causing my eyes to tear up and myself to hesitate.

Finally I let myself go, the wind and my motivation pushed myself off the cliff, except I didn't make it off the cliff. When I fell I hit the ground next to my paper, someone had pulled me back and wrapped their arms around me. When I found the courage to open my eyes I found Mya standing above me with her eyes burning red and tears streaming down her cheeks.

She dropped to her knees and hugged me, both of us laid on the ground and hugged each other so tight. My tears soaked her shirt and left spots of water on her shoulder. I picked up my note and slowly folded it and placed it back into my pocket. She told me to go home and think.

I went home and snuck in through my window and sat on my bed and read my letter over and over a million times, in disbelief that it didn't work.

By the time you find this, I will be long gone. Heck, you may never find this or me, maybe I'll be "missing" for the rest of my "life." Maybe I'll finally be happy, and whole, and myself... now that I'm gone. I don't care how many people miss me, or how many tears I cause. I wanted to be gone, disappear forever, and leaving the country wouldn't do so now I'm up in heaven... actually I'm probably down in hell... its what I get for being an unholy piece of shit. If I fail, nobody will see this note besides me and I will have to live through the pain of what is already happening and the fact that everyone will know I'm suicidal. Hopefully life without me is as amazing as I imagine it will be for all of you. Please remember I didn't do this because of anyone, I just needed a forever escape. I love you.

Then at the bottom of the page after the word "you," I could see something that was written then erased. I looked hard and saw that it said "Ethan." I immediately crumpled the paper and threw it in my wastebasket and laid back on my bed. 

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IM SORRY ITS SO SHORT BUT

I've been busy slacking and watching Netflix and stuff :,)  I WILL ADMIT THAT OKAY but I love writing and I'm sorry if this triggered any of you... probably should've put a trigger warning... too late now.

PLEASE GET HELP IF YOU HAVE ANY THOUGHTS REGARDING SELF HARM OR SUICIDE I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU AND YOU MEAN SO MUCH <3

I added a Polaroid theme ( I COULDN'T FIND SOME THO SO SOME ARE JUST VINTAGE PICTURES) to the header pictures!!! :) Do you like it?

ITS TUESDAY

laurel or yanny?

ok byeeee until next time