Terminally Hopeful

Chapter 2

The next day, Connor came again. I had told Jane that I'm fine and to only visit me when necessary. She was hesitant, but agreed. Connor and I were working on the music box again.

"Sadie, don't you get lonely? I don't see anyone except your mom and brother in here. Ever," Connor asked.

"No, not really. I like quiet and being alone. It's just who I am," I answered.

"How long are you going to be here for?"

"I think about a month or longer. I could be released earlier, but they insisted that I stay. You know, in case I kill myself. But I won't. I already told them that. They don't believe me," I grumbled.

"You shouldn't. Your injuries are recoverable. You can keep on living. And I have another question," Connor said quietly.

I gave a feeble smile and said, "Ask away."

"Why would you choose to give your own life? I mean, didn't you think about your parents?"

A flash of anger ran through me. Was he calling me selfish?

"I wasn't being selfish, if that's what you're implying."

He just stared.

I sighed.

"I guess I was, in a way. But my intentions weren't to hurt my family. I just wanted to go home," I said. He didn't question the home part. I gave him a vague answer but I felt that if I went on any further, I would say something I would regret.

"My family is never by me. They're always working. The money is needed. Because of me. That's why I come to talk to you, Sadie. Because I'm lonely," Connor said. "You should have seen the last person in this room! She was a grumpy old lady. I helped her sneak her cat in. She was a sweet woman. She died in here, by the way."

My smile faded. Something about the fact that someone died in here made me uncomfortable. But I guess that's what hospital rooms are. Death rooms, birth rooms.

Connor put down the carving knife and held up the wooden miniature house.

"It's almost done. All we need to do is paint it and finish the inside," he gleefully told me.

"Yeah. Almost done," I repeated.

Suddenly, Wyatt burst in through the door. He froze and his eyes widened. Then I heard the worst noise known to mankind when he opened his mouth and gave a shrill. When Jane burst through the door, Connor and I both had our hands over our ears.

"Sadie, who is this young man?" Jane asked.

"I'm Connor Briggs, friend of Sadie's. It's very nice to meet you," Connor immediately replied, standing up.

"Oh, a friend. I see. I'm glad Sadie found someone to play patty cake with," Jane grinned.

I looked down in embarrassment. She thinks I like him.

"Well, I'm sorry to say this but I need to talk to Sadie for a while, would you mind seeing her tomorrow?" Jane faintly asked.

"No, it's fine. Bye Sadie! I'll see you tomorrow," Connor said.

As soon as he left the room, Jane's expression turned dark. She sat next to me and looked at me with pity. I blinked in response.

"It's Trent. He dropped out of college," she told me sadly.

"What? Wasn't college his reason for ditching me? I mean I love you, I love everyone in your family, but he refused to take custody of me due to college. Why drop out?" I rambled, angry that he had given up something that was apparently worth more than me.

"I don't know, but I asked around and I think he got a girl pregnant," she whispered.

I let out a laugh. Trent was wild, but not that wild.

"No way. I don't believe that for a second. I think it's all a rumor and he had a good enough reason to drop out, even if it means losing his future," I stated. Trent is a good person. Just a little careless sometimes.

Jane nodded but refused to meet my eyes. She believes it. She doesn't trust Trent. I let out a laugh so ugly that it caused Wyatt to look my way for a moment.

"Well, okay. I just thought you should know. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you," she told me. I kissed her on the cheek and she left the room with Wyatt waving at me until I couldn't see him anymore. He's so sweet. I don't deserve him, I really don't.

I pushed the side button that turned the lights off and leaned back into the comfy hospital bed. I can't even sleep on my side anymore because of my injuries. I'm so stupid. I could've almost ended my life because of one unfortunate event.

One thing I noticed while staying in the hospital room, is that when you're alone, you have a lot of time to think. That's why I hate sleep. Because in order for me to sleep, I have to think. Which sucks for me because I'm supposed to get at least eight hours of sleep every night.

I'm really lucky that Connor stays in the room next to me. I don't know what I would do without his company. But right now, he's not here, and I'm left here to think about my suicide attempt, Trent, and Connor.

I'm not sure about a lot of things, but I'm absolutely positive about one thing. I want to live. And I want to live life each day like I'm going to die tomorrow.