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If I could be anything at all in the history of everything...

If either be

A monkey

Or a UNICORN

Mainly because I'd want to prove to people that they're real

Stab people with my horn

Use my magical powers

Stroke my beard

Fly

Flick my tail

And I've always wanted to be a horse so why not be a magical one!

Or a monkey because i can throw bananas at people and it'd be legal.

Throw a hissy fit

Spit on people

Hit people

Pick pocket

Steal things

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