Lachlan and Rowan: Lost

Chapter 4

I wake up and Rowan is beside me. "Hey sleepy." She teases as she kisses me softly. Something in the back of my mind is foggy and keeps trying to remember things. When did she get back? What do I need to do today? What day is it?

I can only hold a thought in my head for a second before it is shoved to the side by her kisses. I find myself on top of Rowan kissing her passionately. "I love you." She sighs quickly in between a kiss. When did we say I love you for the first time? Suddenly Rowan starts to fade and the moment it starts to happen I wake up but I still see Rowan, an unfinished painting of her at least.

It was a dream. She's gone.

Just like I was afraid of, I feel numb. No, not numb. I have a heavy weight in my chest keeping me from breathing properly. This is what my grief feels like. I get up with a sigh not wanting to sit in bed any longer. I shower and get dressed. I realize it's been a days since I've eaten (I ate at the center) and I'm starving.

I head down to breakfast without thinking about what I'm doing or who I'm passing. I am too far away. I saw this in Rowan a lot especially when she first got here. She would walk in a daze. She would go places and do things not really thinking about it. She was always in a place that none of us could see. Now I feel that way. As I walk to the dining area my mind wonders off into a deep debate about how people change over time.

Maybe the way we walk in a daze is a side affect of our grief. Maybe this is how we both cope with grief. I think back to when I was ten and missing my family. I day dreamed a lot but that was nothing new I used to day dream a lot when I was bored.

Suddenly I realize that I'm in line to get food I pile some food on my plate then go sit with Ash and Lark. I usually don't sit with them but right now I feel the need to be as close to Rowan as possible and this is the only way.

When I sit down neither of them quite meet my eye. I don't blame them. I'm finding it hard to be so close to Ash who looks so much like her. I catch myself looking at him out of the corner of my eye a few times. I see a young girl probably one or two years younger than me starting to walk this way. She looks pale and delicate with hundreds of freckles on her face. She has crazy curly red hair. She sits down in between Ash and me. "Hi." She says in an attempt to sound cheerful but her voice falls short just like every body else's voice down here recently. I look in her eyes. She has dark blue eyes with green bursting from her pupil.

"Hi...I haven't seen you around here before? What's your name?" I ask. Even through her freckles I can see her blush.

"Oh well I'm Adolpha...you probably haven't seen me here because last night was my first night...your people rescued me from the center." She says unsurely tucking her hair behind her ears. I nod. Ash and Lark continue to stare down at their plates.

"What's your names?" She asks looking around the table at the three of us.

"Lachlan." I say with a smile.

"Ash." Ash says with sign.

"Lark." Lark mumbles barely making eye contact. Adolpha can see how unenthusiastic we all are.

"Oh my god!" Adolpha says. "You guys have had a rough few days. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. I didn't mean to." She says in a panicked tone then scrambling to get her tray and leave. I grab her hand. "It's ok. Stay." I say firmly. She sits back down. "We're sorry about how we've been behaving...the three of us lost someone really important yesterday..." I shake my head and look down unable to bear thinking about it. "We're just going through a lot.." I manager to choke out.

"My..." Adolpha starts but swallows hard, "they killed my dad...I assume they did the same to my mom and sister...and I've been getting tortured at the center for a week so...let's agree that it's been a hard week." She says with a light hearted giggle at the end.

"Actually I was having a good week." Lark says standing up and walking out. Adolpha seems awkward but she doesn't get up or apologize. I'm almost done with my food and she only got a muffin for breakfast.

"Have you taken a tour?" I ask.

"Oh! Briefly, yes." She says with a warm smile. She has plump pink lips. We don't talk much as we finish our food then walk into the main chamber together.

"That's my room, don't be afraid to get me if you need me." I say pointing to my room. She nods and starts to walk in the other direction, but turns back to me. "Thank you." Is all she says before walking towards what I'm sure is the direction of her room.

She's nice...reminds me of Rowan.

I go back to my room and try to finish the mural of Rowan (skipping lunch in the process.) I mix a brown to do the shadows of her face and body and a very light blue to make her hair look shiny. It takes a few more hours but eventually I get Rowan just right. She is staring back at me with her adorable dimples and magical eyes wearing a robe that hangs off her shoulders.

I love you Rowan...I always will.