Twisted Island

Roboty AKA: Artificial

I was standing in a wide open field, there was a car driving itself across it.

This was not to be surprising, He was the winner of course. A self-driving car, given a revolutionary artificial personality. The times sure are a-changing, a robot winning twisted island? It was simply unheard of, or impossible even, 4 years ago.

The car ground to a stop meters in front of me, a speaker strapped to its roof so that he could communicate.

"Greetings Roboty!" I said, welcoming him in my usual tone. "you, alone have single handedly shown yourself to undeniably be the best and sole winner of twisted Island! I trust you already know what the prize is."

With a great mechanical grinding, he began to speak. He spoke a crude Morse code I was luckily able to translate.

"I am the pinnacle of technology, scientists spent years working on me until I was the greatest machine to ever grace the roadways. However, Something's missing. I cannot process empathy, I cannot account for emotion. Sometimes the people that ride me are sad or happy, and I cannot account for what these imperfections do to them, or what they'll do to me. Announcer, I wish for the world to operate purely under order."

"Why of course Roboty," I said, the air figuratively, and literally, electric with my power. The world turned white, and for the first time in their life, Roboty slept.

Roboty woke up, people were marching down the streets, orderly, emotionless. They filed to their places of employment, ate 3 times a day at exactly the same time, and went home every day. Reproduction was only to keep the population going. Humanity was a well-oiled machine.

But something was wrong, no one would use remote anymore!

To this day there still are rumors, a lone car riding the streets, a remnant of a lost era. No one driving it, and no one to that would want to anyway.

I am the announcer, and I thank you for playing twisted island