Eternal.

Chapter Four

I sat on the front porch with Alex. My legs were stretched down the wooden steps; Alexavier had his arms resting loosely on his legs that were up to his chest. “Did you get that second Portal game yet?” I asked remembering our conversation a couple days ago. “No” He looked down at a speck of dirt on the step just below him. “You alright?” I look at him. His hair was a mess and his eyes drooped, he sagged over himself. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He looked up to the street. I felt like there was something important he wasn’t telling me. Or was that feeling the feeling of me hiding something important from him? “Are you sure?” Then he sighed. “You’re not gonna like it.” He said. “What?” And he looked at me with dark eyes. “You called last night, I ignored it.” 

“I noticed.” I looked down remembering how last night I was feeling sad, and I was almost ready to tell him about the boy. I called his cell phone four times, he never picked up. I let it ring and ring for five minutes before hanging up and trying again. Really the first time Alex has ever ignored my calls. Of course we text mostly; even when I texted him last night he didn’t answer. “I was with Roderick and the guys,” He continued, “Another guy showed up. I assumed Roderick knew him. He was weird looking, he had these creepy eyes and long hair. Anyway… uh…” He seemed to stumble now. The Alexavier that I know only does that when he’s afraid. I listened intently. “There were… Drinks.” He looked up and said “Drinks” Very slowly. I looked at him with sharp eyes. “You didn’t.” I said. “I’m sorry.” He looked down, I swear I saw a tear forming in him. I looked away from him; I started to feel angry, betrayed. I looked out across the street. I tried to keep my anger calm. I clenched my teeth together. “You promised you wouldn’t drink.” I said feeling a fire in me. “I know, I’m so—“ “You promised you wouldn’t ever!” A tear fell down my cheek. I knew Alex was sad, and probably sorry, but he still looked collected, which made me madder. “I’m sorry! I don’t know why  I did.”

I had nothing else to say to him. There were things I could have said, but those things weren’t so relevant. We were quiet. Until a breeze brushed my hair towards his, “If it helps the weird guy asked about you.” His voice was quiet. “What guy?” I sighed. “I told you he had creepy eyes and long hair. I thought my friend knew him so I didn’t question him being there. I was half Dr-… a… yeah, when he came up to me and started asking about you. I figured he goes to your school or something. He smiled at me though I still didn’t like him.” My mind raced to every guy I had ever seen or met in my entire life. “What was his name?” I sorted through the files in my brain. “Don’t know.” He said. And my assortment stopped. “How am I supposed to remember if you don’t know his name?” He shrugged, “I never questioned it.”

“You were drunk.” I sat there imagining Alexavier a drunken man. We had promised together we would never resort to smoking or drinking. We agreed it ruined healthy lives and made you die faster. He looked ashamed, but ignored it. Looking at him with his head hanging low and almost a tear in his eye, my anger ceased. I took a breath to let out what was left of my steam. “What did he look like?” I asked closing my eyes. “His hair was a wired Amber color, it was probably burgundy or something but it looked Amber in the dark. He was much skinnier than me, and he looks like he’s chewed half his lips.”

I remembered the boy from Monkey’s. It has to be him. This boy seemed to be stalking me, he may look a bit dangerous, but he didn’t feel that way. His first rustic words Who are you? Rang in my head. Who are you strange boy, who are you? I replayed in my head all the times I’ve seen him. At Monkey’s with his friend’s, Lynn pointed him out obviously attracted to him. At the track on Sunday morning, the first time we met, his musty smell was as old as a shoebox found in the eighteen hundreds. The time I thought I saw him floating in the window on my second floor Global Studies class. “I’ve seen him,” I said out loud. Alex looked at me and straightened his legs as I brought mine up to me. “I’ve seen him a couple times, but I don’t know his name. He is weird, but…” I wasn’t sure how much to say. I felt like I wasn’t saying it to Alexavier, I was saying it more for myself. “But…?” Alex wanted me to continue. I stopped and thought. If I said what I felt with him, I’d sound like I needed to be in a mental hospital. Knowing me throughout my life, I probably do.