Growing Up Nelson: Fatherly Advice

Graduation

As I look myself over I my mirror I can hear a loud knocking at my bedroom door. As if I could ignore it away it was only going to get louder and more obnoxious. Letting out a deep and monstrous grown and dragged myself out of my bathroom and out towards my door.

"Who is it and what in Jehovah's name do you want?!?!?" I shouted.

"It's Joey! Hurry up I have to pee!!!" He said from the other side of my door.

"Don't you have your own bathroom to spray your ick all over?" I moaned as I swung the door open.

Right on cue as if I invited him in Joey races to my bathroom and slams the door behind him.

"Ummmmm hellooooo? I didn't say you could-"

Before I could finish my thought the sound of his urine hitting the toilet and his sigh of relief shut me right up.

"Ahhhhhh. That's MUCH better." He said before the sound of the toilet flushing filled the room.

"You better wash your hands before you touch anything else in there!" I shouted with a grin on my face.

"Don't get your bloomers in a bunch Carly! I know!" Joey sassed at me.

The door came open slowly and my now 8 almost 9 year old brother strutted our like a peacock and left my room with a big cheesy smile. I followed behind him shortly after and watched as he went back down the hall and into his room.

"You're welcome!" I shouted down the hall just before he closed his door.

Kids these days will never understand the meaning of privacy! Now that I think about it.... I have a bone to pick with the old man in the metallic purple jumpsuit. And I ain't talkin' about Tony when he's getting ready to hit the gym. Not like he does much of that anyway. Wearing nothing but a pair of black biker shorts and a tank top and marched myself down the hall and before long found the two massive black double doors before me.

  "He better be in there! And he better have clothes on!" I mumbled to myself unsure of what's to come. Just as I raised my fist to band on the door it flew open with my dad standing in front of me with a sour look on his face.

  "What is it now Carlyn?!?! And why are you not dressed yet?!?!? More over.....WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON?!?!?! I did not buy you that outfit!"

  "Yeah yeah yeah save all the drama fo yo baby mama I have a bone to pick with you!" I scoffed and shoved him out of the way.

He stumbled back a little as I stepped inside and the smell of lavender tickled my nose with its overwhelming aroma. That only means one thing.

  "What's stressing you out this time? Regan won't go out with you again?" I joked as I turned on my heels to face him while crossing my arms.

Daddy closed the door and in true to Nelson form marched over to me briskly and shook his head in disgrace.

  "Carlyn Alexandra I don't know who buttered your biscuits this morning but I don't like your tone or your attitude!"

  "Yeah? Well.....I don't like that shirt! You should have never let Tony dress you this morning!"

  "I like this shirt because I had this custom made!"

  "It looks like it was MADE in the DARK!"

  "You look like an unsightly version of darling Nikki!"

I was ready to throw another insult but the. I just smiled and twirled on of my braids.

  "Awwwww! That's just the look I was going for daddy thank you!" I said to him sarcastically.