zombi

confuse me

it was subtle at first, the want to commit sins with this devil. the way he said my name, his grip when he hugged me in greeting. he hated when i would point out things about him. about his hair, his eyes. maybe it was because he didn't want me noticing his imperfections. how he wasn't just the fallen angel god had banished. maybe it was just how he was.

but i did it anyway. in my head of course. i pointed out how his hair was a dark brown but if you caught it in the right light it was red, like blood. or how when he flashed his perfect teeth in an upward grin that he had two perfect dimples on his cheeks. how whenever he spoke it was always so serious sounding. like an angry father scolding a child.

there were so many things about him. so many perfect imperfections and i wanted to find them all.

i wanted to explore his mind and body, figure out exactly how the devil worked. but in that moment i didn't get the chance.

he held me tight instead of letting me explore his wonders.

pulling me so close and simply sitting with me, quietly. we ignored the chaos behind us. our bodies pressed tightly against each other in an attempt to show a form of attraction.

he confused me. showing bits of affection yet being so utterly cold. the devil was distant, cold and yet he burned a fire deep in me hotter than the flames of hell. and i hoped that those fires would be able to melt the devils facade and lure him into my awaiting arms.

dreams though. disappointment lurked around the corner and even though i knew that i kept wishing anyways. being warned that if I did I would get burned. i would get hurt. and god did the man have a way of doing it so softly. in such a way as to jumble your mind and make you wonder if it really had happened. did he really just hurt me?

and the saddest fact is that he will hurt you, and have that same damn smirk while doing it. the same smirk you fell for.

and you'll just keep falling.