zombi

liking him was easy, it was too easy in fact. a simple smirk made my heart flutter, it shouldn't be that way. his lips consumed my every thought. how wretched. or how one of those damned winks sends my mind into a frenzy and the thoughts racing in a million directions.

i wished a million wishes to feel his skin against mine. to feel him relax and melt into my arms as I softly traced his skin with the tips of my nails.

every shooting star spent on him, every fallen eyelash on my cheek swept off and blown away with the wish of him and i sharing one more moment.

if one more taste was all I could get, i would.

but that wouldn't happen. it couldn't. he had captured my attention and my mind, unknowingly he was the one i would check my phone for. he was blind to that, maybe because i was scared to tell him. maybe because i hid it from him, acted like that it was no big deal. that i was calm and collected. but i wasn't that girl, i wasn't a chill laid back kind.

I am dramatic.

I freak out.

I cry, a lot.

I was very immature.

but in front of him? i was different, i was a zombi.

I was quiet

I was obedient

I was shy

but most of all?

i craved to have a bite of his sin. i was mindless and followed my craving. mindless. i was a zombie in almost every sense of the word.

and the worst part was i enjoyed it. he was an addiction i simply couldn't kick. he would act so clueless, but how could he not see it? how fast my responses came through once I saw his messages? or how hard i would try to make sure my sentences were clear and concise. that when i saw his notification at the top of my phone screen i would practically melt. waiting just a few moments before opening it, not wanting to seem desperate or needy. but I would throw all caution into the wind at times. i couldn't help it anymore.

i am a creature of need. i will be seeking attention, in many forms. i will be seeking approval. but most of all?

i will be seeking an answer from him. from the devil himself i wanted to know one thing;

"what do you want from me?"