zombi

bite me, again

nothing could save me at this point. dramatic? yes, yes it is. the things he did though, the small things that simply drove me crazy. how he would smile at me, how his calloused hands gripped my hand playing with my fingers. he liked my skin, as weird as that may sound. he told me that it was so soft, so perfect and untainted.

but what if i wanted him to taint it?

would it be awful if i wanted to step into the mess? into the messy heartbreak and the inevitable fights? to feel and to learn what heartbreak really is. he was so different, so beyond different from my exes.

he was pure in a way, so shy but if you made any mention of it he would instantly become confident. as if his shyness never had existed. but if you paid close attention to it, you could tell.

he was the devil in disguise. but I feel like everyone forgets the devil was once an angel.

his eyes sparkled. A mixture of blue and green that showed his emotions so clearly, no matter how hard he tried to hide them. rarely could he conceal it. you could tell by how he peered into your soul that he was an angel. his heart bigger than most under the guise of being an asshole.

i knew he was a jerk on occasion. but naturally i couldn't bring myself to think of him like that. he was sweet, and caring, and gentle. such a gentleman to me, making me feel so beyond special.

but that gets you thinking, doesn't it? how many girls has he made feel this way? maybe it's not your right to know, but maybe you want to know anyways. to know if you truly were special.

those are always the thoughts afterwards though.

the thoughts in the moment are so different. like, 'how does he feel?' Or 'what does his lips taste like?'

questions that one day you'll get the answers to.

his gentle touch, skimming over your body. it felt so right, so fucking right.

but it was wrong. don't mistake the way he held you for likeness. don't mistake how he softly he kissed you for attraction. don't mistake his compliments as anything more than friendliness.

he will take you, he will hold you, he will kiss you. and then when he is done making you feel like the only girl in the world; he will leave you.

it's a struggle they say, a struggle to make things work. this devil will make you fight and struggle. this devil will nip at your heart before taking a big bite of it, injecting it with his venom like a deadly snake.

and the only words that will be able to pass through your lips will be:

"bite me again"