Don't wait

Chapter 16: Cuts

⚠WARNING⚠ (Just to warn you this chapter will include cutting and talking about suicide so yes that means angst)

Lances' POV:

It had been a weak since the sleep over and thing have gotten harder for Keith. People at school have been extra jerks to him. For some strange reason though Lotor has been laying off. He has this huge black eye... Oh well. Keith has been seeming really depressed to. When I see people bullying him I stop them and he protects himself but people just seem to like to bug him. I don't know what to do. I try to comfort him but nothing seems to help right now.

Keith's POV: I had just come back from school, I opened the dour and leaned my scate-boarded against the porch railing before heading in.
"Hey Shiro." I said while I passed him. He sat at the kitchen table deep in thought while working on some business thing.
"Hey Keith, how was school?" he asked looking up from his computer screen.
"Fine." I snapped.
"You sure?" he asked looking at me with concern.
"Fine." I repeated in a calm toan giving him a resuring smile. He gave me a weak smile back but didn't nag me about it or ask any questions. He knew not to.
I went to my room and through my bag down on the flour. My skin itched for a blade to be on it but I didn't want to cut. I had promised Shiro I would stop, and I had. Its been a year since my last cut. I also didn't want to cut because I knew it couldn't solve my problems. I had Lance to. I didn't want to cut to much and then die. I had a life to live with Lance. Lance, the love of my life.
But my body and mind were thinking different things. I looked through my draws and found a tiny box. My old box full of raser blades. I had remembered were I kept them... In the back of the top left drawer. I quietly rushed my way into the bathroom and locked the dour behind me. Then I looked in the mirror and shook my head thinking, no no no! You can't do this you promised! You cant. While another part of me scream yes. Screamed nasty words at me. Urged me on. Begged me to put the blade on my skin. Urged me to cut. Told me to slit my wrists, my arms, my stomach, my sides, my lags, and for what? For fun? No. For pain? No. For death? I don't know anymore. Maybe it was the feeling. It was like an addiction. Watching the blood go down my wrists had always been like watching all my problem bleed out of me and leave my ugly, pale, scared body.
I still stood there looking at my refection in the mirror in front of me. Silently crying and pulling at my hair. I felt crazy and insane and in so much pain. It was getting harder and harder to breach. That's when I did it. I pulled out a small silver blade that glinted in the glaring light of the bathroom. My tears blurred my vision as I set the point of the blade on my wrist. I don't know why but I always liked to scrape with the tip more than actually cut with the blade. I did a quick cut and I could see small dots of blood coming from the cut skin. I did another slash and the blood really started to come. I started a second cunt farther up my arm... Then another and another. My mind kept telling me to stop. Telling me that this was stupid and useless. But my shaking hands just kept going. My body saying you started it so why stop it now? Why end it now? Why not end it all now? I shook my head as I kept going. And the tears made me tired, and so did the blood loss... And I couldn't tell anymore if it wad the blood loss giving me the headache or all the tears that had found there way down my face.

Lances' POV:

I had been texting Keith.

SharpShooter: Hey!

Sharpshooter: How are you?

Sharpshooter: whats up?

Sharpshooter: look I am sorry about today I'm sorry I didn't get there in time. I'm sorry those guys locked you in the janitors closet and hurt you. You don't deserve any of it. Your the most amazing person I have ever met! I promise I will protect no matter what. Even if we were fighting some purple aleans from space! Even if you were a purple alean from space. I love you Keith and I hope you never forget that.

I shut my phone off and decided to drive to his house to make sure he is ok. I pulled in and got out of my car running to the porch and knocking on the dour. After a minute Shiro cae and answered it.
"Oh hey! Sorry I took a second Lace I have been working on some really important buisness stuff."
"Oh its ok." I smiled. "Is Keith here?"
"Ya he's in his room come on in!" Shiro smiled opening rhe dour for me and I walked in going to Keiths dour and knocking on it. There was no reply.
"Hey Keith, its me Lance... I'm coming in." still no reply so I walked in but he wasn't there. I looked around to see everything was a mess... That was weird Keith always everything neat and tighty. The drawers were flung open and everything was tossed around. His backpack was thrown across the flour, discarded, like a childs doll no longer wanted anymore.
I walked back to the kitchen frowning.
"He isn't there." I told Shiro and his face immediately went to concern and worry.
"One second." he said running down the hall to the bathroom dour were he knocked. "Keith?" he asked, no reply. "Keith?" He asked again but yet again there seaced to be no answer from beyond the bathroom dour. Shiro rattle the dour handle but it wouldn't budge. "Shit." he whispered pulled a key from his pocket and unlocking the dour and when it opened his face went pale with fear. With sadness. With worry and chills found there way down my back. "Lance, call 911." and I didn't even hesitate. For some reason I didn't even question what he was saying as I pulled out my phone and immediately the number. It was a blur for a while. Then I found myself next to Keith on the bathroom floor as Shiro went out side to wait for the ambulance.
I cradled Keith in my arms. Holding his head to my chest were my heart beet so fast I thought it might explode. It hurt so much seeing him, seeing Keith. The person I have found myself falling in love with laying there bleeding out. Messy cuts covering his pale red wrists.
"Hold on I still want you, come back I still need you." I sang to him slowly as I was choked up with my own tears. "Let me take your hand, I'll make it right. I promise to love you all my life. Hold on I still need you." I wanted to sing to him. To confort him. To keep him alive. Then I heard the ambulance and everything was a blur again. A blur of flashing light, sirens and tears. And suddenly I was in a waiting room. Waiting. Waiting for the news. Waiting to hear if he was ok. Because what was life with out my life.
The doctor stepped out of the rllm and came to us.
"Mr. Tadashi Shirogane?" he asked and we stood up. "He's alive and awake. You can go see him now." we ran into the room immediately and when I saw Keith laying there. Neetles in him. Arms all stitched up and bandaged I swore to myself I would never let this happen again.
"Lance." Keith said when he saw me. His voice was raspy and dry. I immediately rushed to his side.
"Shhh," I whispered soothingly you need to rest." he looked up at Shiro and then whispered.
"I'm sorry."
"No I should be sorry I should have been paying more attention." Shiro held his hand then was called out of the room by the doctor to sighn some more papers. I held Keiths hand and sang to.him so he could sleep. I sang to him the lullaby I had learned from my older sister. The lullaby from B's favorite movie and book from the Hunger Games. I sang Rue's Lullaby.
"Deap in the meadow, Under the willow. A bed of grass, a soft green pillow. Lay down your head, and close your eyes. And when they open, the sun will rise. Here is is safe, here it is warm. Here the daisy's gaurd you from all harm. And here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true. Here is the place, were I love you. Deep in the meadow, hidden far away. A cloak of leaves, a moon beam ray." Keith had fallen asleep by now but I kept singing to him. I had to keep singing for him. "Forget your woe's, and let your troubles lay. And when again its morning, they'll wash away. Here it is safe, here it is warm. Here the daisies guard you from every harm. And here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true. Here is the place were I love you." and with that I layed down my head on the stomach of my beautiful sleeping willow tree and fell asleep right there beside him.

Hey guys I am sorry that this chapter is so sad! I promise it will get better! If you are going through depression or anything. Just hang in there trust me I know how it feel I am going through it right now. We will get through this together. Try to talk to someone to it may bot seem like much but trust me it can help. I love you all! Stay strong my amazing Paladins, Blade Of Mamora and others!
          -Poe'sRaven