Try It If You Want.

Reflection .

"Would anyone like to say anything on Jayden's behalf ? Cortez ..?" Jayden's father said . Jay's funeral was the most depressing shit I have ever sat through . It made me think about a lot ... Made me sad ... Made me do a lot of things . But in the end , I know he's still here . I know he's hovering around , looking at us . Smiling at us . I stood at the podium in front of the casket and sighed . " ... Jayden Forbes taught me a lot of things . He taught me how to get girls , how to be responsible , how to make money , how to be myself , etc . Things that my father never taught me . Jayden was the big brother I always needed . I love him so much , and I appreciate everything he has done for me . I feel like his death is my fault . I'm the one who beat up the guy who killed him , which gave him a motive to kill Jayden . I never meant for this to happen .... I love Jayden . I care for him . If I would've known my stuff was affecting him , I would've stopped . I should've listened . I'm sorry Jayden .. You were like the little brother I always wanted . Im so stupid for going against you ... Rest in Peace . Stay with me ... "

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•5 months later•

"Cortez ... Cortez , Eat . Baby ..." Karyzma chanted at me . I wasn't trying to listen . Dr. Garden , my therapist , said I should keep my mind off of things ... Like death , and Jayden ... It's stressful . I miss Jayden so much , I'm surprised my doctor didn't say I slipped into clinical depression . I haven't eaten much since then ... I've been quiet now . I graduate this month , and I'm not even excited about it . My life feels empty now . I know I got my mom and Corey , but ... It just doesn't feel the same . Karyzma had been there for me tho . That's my baby . I love her to death . Dy has been there too . My ride or die . My brothers been by my side too . My niggas ... But nothing's the same now . I just feel like ... I need to change . For Jay's sake . I promise . I glared at Karyzma .

"Feed me , please ..."

She shot a look at me . "You aren't gonna spit it out , are you ?"

"No."

"Promise ?"

"I promise ."

She scooped up some mashed potatoes and put the spoon to my lips . "open ."

I cringed alittle and opened my mouth .

She put the spoon in my mouth . "Close ."

I closed my mouth . I thought I was about to die . I was rejecting food so much ... My stomach is just used to it . But I managed to swallow it . "Ew ..."

"Eat more , Cortez . You're getting better ."

She kept feeding me my dinner until it was gone . I guess I'm getting somewhere with the whole thing . Lord knows I'm not as strong as I put on for the last four years . I needed help . And with the help of my friends ... I'll soon be there . Soon , I'll be able to look in my reflection , and see the real me . Thank you , Jayden .

I wouldn't be able to change without you .