Chapter 4-16 Years Old

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July 26th.

Dear Dad,

I've got my License!

Are you proud of me? Mom said you would be. Niall accompanied me to that dance audition I told you about. That was in February. And guess what?

I GOT IN DAD!

Mom told me that we are going to visit your grave tomorrow. Not today, like usual. I think she's just not up for it. I am, though. I normally sit there and talk to you about everything. I can't stay for long, though. Because the media is always following me around. I don't like it at all, it really annoys me. Niall said I would get used to it, but to be honest I haven't.

So, I'm moving to London next year. I think Mom is upset that I'm leaving her. I told her she could come live with me and we could go to art galleries and the theatre. She doesn't want to leave you. I'm afraid, Dad. Mom has gotten worse. She's depressed again. Niall has moved in now. He helps me clean our house because Mom doesn't get out of bed. I think Niall is going to make her go to Miss Lambert to talk. I don't see her any more. I've accepted that you're gone. And that you're not coming back. But I wish you did. I don't see you in my dreams any more.

I watched some DVD's and interviews of you. I was a mess. You were so passionate. You loved your job so badly. I hope I'm like that when I get my dream. All your fans are still upset and broken. I met this one lady who was about 28 while I was getting my dance shoes yesterday, and she just broke down. Her own daughter, Giota who is eight told me that her mom can't listen to any of your songs any more. She doesn't want to remember. I don't know why. Why doesn't she want to remember you guys? It's not painful.

Can you watch me while I'm in London? Niall isn't going to be there... he's always there when I have classes. I will have no one. But I guess its good to be alone. I just can't wait, Dad. I'm so excited. I just want to dance for the rest of my life. Forever. I want to have the most best times of my life at this school. I'm so excited.

I love you.

Love Always,

Darcy Styles.

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