I'm here

1/1

Have you ever been in a situation, where you want to help, but you don't know how? I'm like this for almost a month. I can't describe how awful I feel, for not being able to help. I just don't know what to do or to say. Seeing my hyungs sad, makes me want to push my fist against a wall. It makes me sad too and I hate being sad. But of course not every day is a happy day. There are times, when people are just sad and they want to lock themselves in a room and just be alone. And at these times I feel useless. But what I hate the most , is seeing my favorite hyung sad. He was like that for such a long time and at tonight's show, he just showed his emotions. And I couldn't help but to start crying too. I said it was because I thought about our trainee days, but It wasn't completely true. I was sad, because he was sad.

On our way back to the dorms everyone was silent. I was sitting next to Tae and I couldn't stop looking at him to check how he is. He was scrolling through his phone, not paying attention to the world around him. There was no sight of his pretty smile or his happy attitude.

- Hyung.. –I whispered.

He just "Hmm?" not looking up from his phone.

I scot closer to him and grabbed his arm. I didn't know what to say. I just wanted him to know that I am right beside him.

He finally looked at me and smiled sadly.

- It's okay, Kook. I'll be fine.

I shook my head.

- Tae, I just wanted to say that... - my throat got dried up, my vision got muggy and I just couldn't let myself cry again. Not in front of him. Not when I was supposed to be strong for him. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I felt pair of lips against my forehead. I snuggle closer to him and interweave our fingers together.

- Don't be like this because of me, Kook. I just can't look at you this way. This is my pain, not yours.

- I just can't help it. – I mumbled. – I love you so much.

- And I love you so much.

He went silent again, so with all my force I opened my eyes. He was watching something on his phone, like he was trying to escape from here. So I just laid my head on his shoulders. I couldn't wait to get home and be just the two of us.
******

Back at the dorms, the members were all in the living room, watching some comedian show. And there was no singht of Tae. I just finished taking shower and I was drying my hair with a towel.

- Hyungs, where is Tae?

- I think he's in his room. He said he was tired and.. we all know what he's going through so we didn't wanted to disturb him. – Jin hyung said.

- Besides – Yoongi opened his mouth – you're the only one who can confort him and I'm pretty sure he just wants to be with you. So, you should go to him.

I nod and threw the towel on the floor.

- Wait a second, young man – I heard Jin's voice but I didn't turn around.

- Leave him be. – Jimin said.

When I was in front of Tae's room I took a deep breath and knocked.

I heard no reply, so I slowly opened the door and peeck inside.

- Hyung? – I mumbled.

He was lying, his back facing me and his arms were shaking. He was crying. And I swear my heart clenched when I heard his muffled sounds.

I got in and closed the door, basically rushing towards the bed and kneeing in front of him.

- Tae... - I reach my arm and stroke his hair. I didn't actually see his face, because of the covers, so I continued stroking his hair.

- Go to the members, Kookie. – he whispered.

- No. I'm not leaving you alone. – I got under the covers with him and wrapted my arms around him. I kissed his hair. He was so tense under my touch, and that made my heart broke.

- This is my pain. – he said against my chest.

- I heard that in the van, hyung. But I said already, that I'm not leaving you alone. You can't make me, so don't try at all.

Finally, I felt him relaxing and wraping his arms around me too. I interweave our fingers and pulled him even closer, if that was possible. He positioned himself, his head in the crock of my neck. I felt his tears, his body was shaking.

- Tae.. you're not alone. I know it's hard, but we're all here for you. And we love you. I love you! We're gonna go through this, together, okay? Promise me, that If you ever need something, anything, you'll come to me... just promise me. Please?

- I promise. – he mumbled.

I lifted his chin, so he can look at me. Cupping his face I got closer to him.

- I love you so God damn much, Tae. That's not gonna change. – I closed the distance between us and kissed him. I shared my emotions through that kiss – my pain, my promises, my love. Everything.

When we pulled away, he smiled softly at me, eyes still full with tears, but still so pretty and said: I love you, Jungkook. So so so much. Thank you for being with me, thank you for.. for everything.

I smiled and pecked his lips one more time.

- Don't thank me, hyung. Let's sleep. You need to rest. – I pulled the covers over us again, just to be sure he'll be warm. I started stroking his hair again, so he can sleep easly.

- I love you. – he mumbled.

I smiled and whispered the same, before closing my eyes.

*******
In the living room, the members got curious.

- Well, he's taking his time, I see. – Yoongi said. – Are they sleeping?

- Dunno, hyung. Should we check? – Jimin asked.

- Maybe we should leave them alone. It's been hard on them both. – Jin interrupted. – You know, let me check them, just to be sure.

He got up and left the room. When he came back, he was smiling.

- So?

- They're sleeping. They look so peacefull.

Hearing that the members flew out of the living room and strait in front of the room, where boys were sleeping. Slowly, Jimin opened the door, revealing the boys, sleeping peacefully, wrapted in eachothers arms. And they all smiled.

- If this isn't love – Jimin whispered – I don't know what is.

___________________________
Enjoy. ^^