Street Racer Darling |:| Knockout X reader

When We're Apart

~(Y/N)'s POV~

     Halfway into the first month, and I achieved the equivalent of a parol. My limits are inside the base only, with the occasional ride from Bumblebee. We found out that I can become easily depressed when deprived of the one thing that has made me happy: racing. The lovely Nurse Darby had diagnosed me with Depression when she was called upon. The reason why she was called was because I wouldn't eat, barely slept and was dehydrated, and the Autobutts didn't know what to do to fix that. So here I am, staring out of Bee's passenger side window as he goes 2 MPH below the speed limit.

         "I don't know why you insist on doing this. It doesn't help when there's no adventure or excitement." I sighed, placing my forehead on his window.

He beeped in response, of which I easily translated. I had figured his odd language sooner than I had hoped. Now I had nothing to do while I was there.

         "I know, but It just makes me miss it even more. I feel as if I'm trapped, and will never see my Devil Car again..." A single tear rolled down my face.

     After about half an hour, we went back to base, and I slowly climbed the steps to sit on the ugly yellow couch that I loathed. Where did they find it? A dump? I turned on the TV, finding nothing, of course, but flipped through the channels anyway. Later, I heard pede steps come my way. Turning, I found the faceplate of Arcee, staring at me as if I was a pebble in her shoe. I made no comment to her presence, and turned my attention back to the TV.

         "Well you're a sight for sore optics." She tried to make conversation without sounding like she hated me, it was obviously a failure.

         "Yes well, when someone is clinically depressed and deprived of the one thing that can help, I would think so."

She just glared at me, and walked away.

     Over all I haven't caused any mischief since that first day. If anything I've acted as a zombie and have pretty much obeyed every single rule laid down to constrict me. Except for the occasional swear word, of course. That's kind of second nature by now. I think the time my depression gets better is when Raf comes over from school. He's very kind, even to a person like me. He's gone out of his way to record races he finds on the internet, and hooks his computer up to the TV, so it was on a bigger screen. Some are old, but it's fun to watch either way. I get to point out fatal mistakes to him, and he listens very intently. Sometimes, we even pretend to be in a race ourselves, much to Ratchet's chagrin. The only reason he doesn't intervene is because my mental state improves during that time.

         "On your left!" Raf called as his toy car raced past mine, the yellow Camaro look-alike matching his guardian.

         "Oh no you don't!" I made my red Aston Martin swerve and drift as we rounded a corner on our makeshift track.

         "No fair! How'd you do that?" Raf marveled as he tried to catch up.

         "Hold this, and at the perfect moment..." I got ready to drift another corner, "SWERVE!"

My car swerved, and drifted the corner perfectly, gaining speed a bit, and getting even farther away from Raf.

         "Let me try!" He got ready to swerve the same corner, when the time was right he did almost exactly what I did. And by almost, I mean he ended up rolling the toy car out of the corner and into Bumblebee's pede.

         "|: Remind me not to let you drive any time soon. :|" He said with a beep and a whirr.

         "Heh, yeah... sorry Bee." The tiny genius went to pick up his car.

I stopped mine just as it was about to cross our finish line made of red string, and waited. When his car was back on the track, I backed mine up so that they were right next to each other.

         "You ready?"

         "Yep!"

         "GO!" Our race started again.

     Of course, this time doesn't last long, and when he leaves, so does the bit of enjoyment I get out of being here. Knockout said this was supposed to help me and my mental state, so how come it's not working?

         "Perhaps it's because you refuse to let it." Optimus said by the vault door. I seem to have acquired a habit of speaking out loud.

         "Yeah well, it's not like you guys are the perkiest of people." I huffed.

         "That may be so, but it's not like you have been the most open, of people."

         "Oh yeah? Give me one good reason why I should be quote-unquote, 'open', huh? You've deprived me of my life, I don't even have my phone anymore thanks to Doctor Doom, and no one seems to understand when I ask simply to send a letter to Knockout! And don't go on about secret messages and stuff! The closest we have to secret messages is I ask a question and he revs his engine in response!" My rant done, I took a breath, finding myself standing at the edge of my cot. A finger pointed accusingly at the Prime. I sat back down, bangs covering my face.

     Optimus was silent for quite some time. I assume contemplating my argument, either that or he's judging me and my 'Con-like ways. To my relief, he left without a word, but to my dismay he came back, a data pad in his servo.

         "Would you like to send Knockout a message?"

Looking over, I didn't believe him at first.

         "What kind of cruel joke you playing at Prime?"

         "Does it look like I am joking?"

He held the data pad further out, as if I could take it. At that moment, I didn't care if he was lying or not. I wanted to contact Knockout. Optimus placed the large blue screen on the floor, and I typed in Knockout's private message link. It opened and I started a message thread.

:Heya Devil Car:

:(Y/n) ?:

:No it's Megatron. YEAH IT IS YOU CHERRY! ;P:

:Did you just send an emoji?:

:Yep <3 How are things?:

:Well, Megatron is still sending Starscream to look for "Wildstryke".:

:I bet that makes him blow a circuit.:

:Megatron or Starscream?:

:Both.:

:You have no idea. Starscream is reprimanded every time he fails, and Megatron complains that no one else follows orders as well as you.:

:Yes well, tell him I say that he can go frag himself.:

:I'll send him your regards... but not that. ;P:

:Look who's using emojis now >:) ... I miss you.:

:I miss you too... I have to go. Goodbye my darling street racer.:

:Goodbye my devil car.:

     The string ended, and I deleted Knockout's message link. Optimus took the data pad away.

         "Thank you... I needed that... "

Optimus merely nodded his helm, and left. I watched as he walked away. He baffled me, to be honest. The first day he practically hated me, even broke his calm leader act and ended up trashing a crate! Now he tells me things will be fine and offers to let me talk to Knockout. I'll make a note to talk to him tomorrow when he's free. I don't like this mystery that he trails behind him.  

(I do not promote depression. I have gone through that myself and it's a nightmare. Everything is fine now, I'm a survivor. Thanks for reading!)