Eyes of Stone (Gaster!Sans x Reader)

37. Storms Over Our Heads

"Tell ya' what," G started. "Let's play 20 questions so we can both figure out what's happened over these past four years," he said with a lazy grin, as we sat down on a bench on an empty street. Swaying trees lined the road, the clouds over our heads woven together like fine silk. I rolled my eyes at his odd way of going about things, but complied anyway.

"Alright, let's do it," I replied, leaning back on the bench and looking at him expectantly. He sat silent for a moment, as if choosing his words wisely.

"How long were you in there?" His chirpy mood was gone, slowly seeping into something more solemn. I took a deep breath.

"It felt... like days, weeks. Everything passed by in a haze, and after a while I slowly just started slipping between consciousness and unconsciousness," I gestured, as if painting the air with my words. G dropped his eye contact, now heavily interested with the little stones and rocks clustered at the road side.

"What did she do to you?" G asked, his voice low but fragile, like the stem of a flower. I paused before answering, collecting my thoughts and forming them into coherent, manageable sentences.

"She hurt me for a while, but when that stopped working she.. she went into my mind, literally, started playing with whatever she could find," I spat, my knuckles white from gripping the bench's edge. G was silent, waiting for me to continue. "She— she took my memories, one by one, and the feeling of forgetting? Of just trying to remember one damn thing? It was... it was horrible," I shook my head, my heart thumping in my ears at the mere remembrance of the hell that Chara engraved into my skin, into my mind. 

Slowly, G reached his hand over, and taking my own in his, I relaxed, my breathing easing up.

"It's okay, doll. She won't ever touch you again," he promised. I stroked his hand with my thumb, revelling in the simple connection that danced along my skin like electricity. "Your go," G said after a while, a soft smile on his features. I nodded, casting my eyes down for a moment.

"What was it like?"

The question hung in the air, and I knew that I had awfully struck gold with such a question.

"You mean, you not being around?" G asked, his voice like a feather. I slowly nodded, absentmindedly squeezing his hand. "Sweetheart it... it was a nightmare," G finally said with a short, hard laugh. "Everyone was acting as if they'd forgotten ya, as if the only thing they could do was move on." He leaned back, telling the golden sun his strife.

"I looked for you. I searched, every damn day, 'n they helped, Undyne especially. She knew out of all of 'em how I felt, how much you meant to me. Probably because of Alphys.." he thought aloud, before shaking his head slightly and returning to his story. "But after a while, they gave up, said we were never gonna find ya' so we should focus on the more important things- that's what Asgore said, anyway. I continued to search, finding human camps around the perimeter and asking them if they'd seen ya', or had ya' at their little stations further out."

I had a feeling that he didn't just 'ask'.

"None of them did, none of them understood, but that didn't surprise me. And.. and-" G suddenly cut off, his voice growing thick and his eyes squeezing shut, my hand cold from his lack of touch.

"G?" I whispered, leaning forward and placing a hand on his thigh. He almost trembled for a moment, his breathing heavy. "It's okay, you don't have to say-"

"Yes, yes I do, doll. 'Cos I gave up too."

I was stunned, my eyes like gold coins in the shining of the sun that now, seemed to be too bright.

"You did?" I asked quietly, my hand yearning for his simple touch but my heart prickling in hurt.

"I'm so sorry doll, I'm so sorry," he whispered hoarsely, and something inside of me broke. I leaned over and wrapped him in my arms, despite his form being so much bigger than mine. He was frozen for a moment, before his arms came around my waist and gripped it so softly, so softly that his touch was like a ghost breathing on my skin.

"Keep going, G, I'm here," I spoke, retracting from the embrace but keeping his hands in mine. Where they belonged.

He took a deep breath and his eyes searched my features. After a moment he continued.

"After you disappeared, I went into this sort of, depression, jus' drinking loads and smoking like my life depended on it. That was when I left everyone else, pushed 'em away, and I started hating Papyrus. He hated me too. I was meant to be his big brother, not this stranger who only came back at three in the morning stinking of drink and smoke." Bitterness laced G's voice, a thick fog of grey surrounding him as he delved deeper into his memories.

"I grew distant from everyone, just focused on trying t' find ya', until Chara gave me a dream. And in it, in it you were... You were dead," G swallowed, before taking his hands from mine and shoving his hand in his pocket to retrieve a box, a box of cigarettes. Flipping it open, he snatched one from the packet and lit it in a matter of seconds, taking a long, long drag, before his soul was calmed. He breathed easy, and I frowned, understanding just how much G had grown to rely on a time limiting drug.

Grey smoke slipped out from his mouth, and further still, some curled out from under his shirt, caressing his rib cage and evaporating in the warm air. The look of anguish that once was engraved into his features fell away, and he closed his eyes, sighing.

"D' ya' see now, sweetheart? How I rely on these things to keep me going? They're just replacements, place holders for the real drug I'm addicted to." He turned to me, cigarette balanced between his fingers and an intense look in his eyes. I held my breath. 

"That drug's you, doll," he whispered, and I felt my soul thud in the depths of my being.

"G." I scooted closer, and I felt his brilliant white eye-lights watching my every move. Slowly, I leaned over, taking the burning cigarette from his fingers with my own, and I looked at it for a moment, marvelling at the way the red embers in the end of it was like a crumbling city, ravaged by the flames of selfish man. My eyes flicked up to G, noticing how close he was. "You don't need these, not anymore," I whispered.

"All I need is you," he murmured, and then his mouth was on mine, and all I could think was how the sun shined a little brighter, the grass waved a little higher, and my soul felt a little lighter.

After a minute we parted, breathless and full of glee. I smiled lazily, leaning back on the bench.

"So who's Marli?"