The Chronicles of Corn Man: Origin Story

Everything I wanted to hear

That night, I drank a lot  at the afterparty. I couldn't stop thinking about that girl. There was so much I wanted to say to her: about that day, about this night, about how I thought she was the most beautiful woman ever to walk the earth. I wanted to forget her, because that would take away this pain. If I didn't know her I couldn't long for her, but my heart insisted on torturing itself. I hadn't felt this way in a long time- not since Maizie.

Oh, God. I can't believe I'm doing this to myself. She's just a girl, and I'm just a corn. This "connection" I thought we had was nothing more than a romanticism, a longing for affection. It wasn't real. What was real was my chance to finally be somebody. I wasn't going to let this moment of weakness stand in my way. And, yes, it was just a moment. It wasn't like I'd ever see her ag-

Shit.

~

Shit.

There he was. I was sort of hoping Cornelius would be too cool and famous to show up to his own parties. But he was right there, in the middle of the room. Oh, how could I feel such love and such loathing at the same time? It was torture.

Our eyes met, and at once we both knew.

I stared for an eternity, until I remembered who I was supposed to love.

Jason!

My eyes searched for his, and we exchanged glances. His excitement for me turned to fear, and I could tell he knew. Christ, anyone with half a brain would be able to tell that I was more than just starstruck. Well, there was no point in hiding it now. What was wrong with me? I had found the perfect guy, yet my heart still belonged to Cornelius. Love really is a bitch, isn't she?

It was almost a relief, now that everything was out in the open. But I didn't know what to do next, so I just stayed still, like a rabbit confronted with the headlights of a fast-moving vehicle.

Maybe if I stay very still I'll miss out on the danger. Maybe I'll be safe.

I was wrong.

"Hey, I think I know you. We met 5 years ago? Well, I say "met," but I think your first impression of me was inaccurate. As you probably know, I'm Cornelius. I'm a vegan, and I have been since the day I was born. That burger you saw me with on that day was for my manager, and you have to understand that retrieving it was vital in my quest for stardom. I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot. What you probably don't know is, that I've loved you ever since that day. I don't know how it happened; all I know is that we were meant to be together. Vegus, this is so crazy. But, for some reason, crazy feels okay tonight."

I was speechless. He'd told me everything I wanted to hear. But Jason was right there, and I couldn't abandon him! I didn't know what to do. Jason gave me a look of approval but I could tell that he was heartbroken. I couldn't handle all this. I had to get out of there.

I ran out of the doors and summoned a taxi to take me back to the hotel. I didn't wait for Jason. They way he PERMITTED me to go to Cornelius made me angry. Was he not willing to fight for me? And if not, how dare he give me away like granddad's antique pocket watch? I had a lot to think about and I couldn't do it in front of either Man or Corn. This decision was supposed to be mine, not an exchange between my two suitors.

When I got to the hotel, I collapsed on the sofa. I didn't feel like sleeping in the same bed as Jason but I also didn't feel like being alone. I had to think.