Innocence in Azkaban

Chapter Three: Lost

AN/ I thought that this song fit her situation a little bit. It is a really good song, and I reccomend it. It's Antidote by Faith Marie

4 days. 4 days without my dad, and I'm already starting to slip. The voices are clawing at my brain, and I can't sleep. Every comforting thought I have, the voices contradict it. Saying that I'm worthless, or that my father left because of me. It's getting harder and harder to block them out. they just keep coming back, and every time they do, they give me nightmares. I haven't even come close to closing my eyes while my dad has been gone. I can't even keep myself together when someone else other than my aunt comes to my cell. I almost strangled a guard yesterday!! I almost killed him, and I wouldn't back off! It was like the voices in my head completely took over. They had to chain me to a wall! The chain around my neck has caused bruises to form, and they won't take it off. Saying that I'm too much like my aunt, and they don't want to risk me escaping like my dad.

*****

Today is just like the others. Wake up. Struggle in the chains, like a dog tied to it's doghouse. At least that's what the guards say. It's like having their own personal dog in prison. I almost feel like I should play along, and give them their own personal bite mark to match.

This, of course, humors Aunt Bellatrix. But she never does anything. Just quietly sits in the corner watching me, waiting for me to snap. Sometimes, I just wish she wasn't a crazy death eater, and that she would help me. But... That's never going to happen anytime soon. It's too much of a burden to-

KLANK!

"Eat, dog." A guard spat, after dropping the plate on the floor. "It might just be the last meal you get"

I glare at him. The voices all jumbled together, as they wrap their cruel words around my head. Giving me many ideas on how to kill this guard. I decide to speak, and intimidate him.

"You know. My little friends have wanted me to kill you for a very long time. I'm starting to question wether or not I should listen to them."

"What friends?" He spat harshly, with a mocking tone. "The only friend you have is your aunt over there. But even then, she's not much company either. You have no one, mutt. So I suggest you crawl into your little doghouse, and stay there, before we even think about putting a muzzle on you."

This shocked me. I never thought they would go as far, as to putting a muzzle on me. But, apparantly they've thought about it....

But if you kill him, they wont even have the chance. I suggest you do it now, while he's close.

I thought I told you to shut up! Get out of my head! I can't stand you anymore! I will not become a murderer, and nothing will change that! I suggest you get that in your little head!

Silly girl. I am a part of you. You can't get rid of me. It's never going to happen, and if you won't listen to me, and just kill the guy, then I'm sure your little Aunty won't hesitate to do it for you. Do you not see that death glare?! She cares for you! I think it's time you realise that, and listen to her!

That's when it hits me. They're right. The voices are right. Aunt Bellatrix does care for me. It's in her own way, or course, but she does. Every time she glares at a guard that's not treating me well, she's doing it for me. But, why? Why am I so important to her?

"Now look, you idiot. I may not be very much company, but at least I'm still here." Hisses my Aunt. "If you want to treat her in such a rude manner, then I highly doubt you'll be able to live very much longer. So I suggest you go on your way, before either of us decides to kill you."

That makes the guard shake in fear, and I smirk at that. It's obvious that she doesn't speak to them very much. But she stood up for me. Why would she ever do that? The guard hurries out of the room, and locks the cell. I hesitate before speaking

"Thank you..."

"There is no need to thank me. You and I both know that you dont have much time before you do something "irrational", as they say. I was merely buying you more time. You don't have much longer before that innocence inside you dies out. So I suggest you enjoy it while you can." Bellatrix hisses back.

"You know. All you had to do was say you're welcome. There's no need for anything else." I spit, glaring in her direction.

"I'm actually really looking forward to when you're gonna lose it.... I'm getting tired of listening to you, you brat!" She screams, lunging at me, and pinning me to the ground. "Once we get out of this hell hole, I'm going to enjoy introducing you to my Lord. You sure have some of those Slytherin qualities in you.... You'll definately come in handy."

    I shudder, as I know exactly what she is talking about.... Voldemort. One of the darkest wizards known to the wizarding world. It scares me to think that one day, I might be working for him. That lunatic sure has it out for my Dads "Godson", as he calls him. But, I highly doubt I'll make it out of here to even get close to him. Whether or not it's because of the dementors, or because someone killed me. I'll probably die in here. I guess we'll just have to wait and see which comes first....