A Part Of Me (Ben Barlow Fanfic)

Chapter 1: Thank you for saving me from the party~

I stood next to a bright coloured tent, pretending to be examining the contents. Hoping, praying, that no one would notice me, that no one would acknowledge or talk to me, trying so hard to be invisible. I should have stayed in my tour bus, but my band insisted that it would have been rude of me not to show up to the first real party of Warped 2016. Ignoring my protests claiming that I wouldn't fit in, that everyone would be staring at me, that my anxiety was just too bad, they had dragged me along only to go off and leave me all alone. All around me I could see members of the Warped crew and bands walking around, drinking, eating and laughing amongst themselves. A small part of me wanted to join them, to be confident and march over to several groups befriending them all. But I hung back, worrying thoughts of what could go wrong if I did that filled my mind and I shuddered, holding my head. I always got terrible headaches when I was scared or anxious. I sit down on a nearby chair and held my head in my hands. I remember when I agreed to go on Warped, our band had been asked and we were all super stoked, happy to be playing music and to be going on tour with the bands we look up to the most. We had been non-stop touring since our band 'Silver Lining' got signed and we were thrown into the spotlight. I used to be fine then, back when I was on my meds. But then people found out, rumours started and I couldn't bear the thought of continuing to take them on Warped where my childhood idols would be, where they might find out that I was a freak who had to take meds in order to get through daily life without crying or having a panic attack every 10 minutes. At first I was fine but at soon as Warped started my anxiety came rushing back and I haven't spoken to a single person apart from my band and our crew. I slowly lifted my head and looked up to the people wandering around the Warped car park, I noticed a group of people standing less then 2 metres away from me, and I recognised one of them as Andy Leo from Crown The Empire. I desperately wanted to go talk to him, to introduce myself to the person I looked up to the throughout my teen years. My heart was rushing as my idol stood there laughing amongst his friends. I slowly stood up but was stopped by a sudden flow of worrying thoughts. What if he thinks I'm weird? What if he thinks I'm just another annoying fan? What if I trip? What if I stutter? I sat down, shaking away the idea that I could go over there. I felt shitty inside at the thought of not even being able to talk to my idol. I whipped out my phone and flipped a text to my bands guitarist Danny
"Can you come take me back to the bus?"
Because they was no way in hell that I was walking through the crowd that separated me from the bus all by myself. I waited 5, 10, 15 minutes waiting for Danny to text back. I started to panic. I rubbed my sweaty palms together and darted my eyes around the car park nervously.
"Are you okay?" I heard a voice say with a strong English accent. I turned around and froze. There standing in front of me was Ben Barlow. The Ben Barlow from Neck Deep. His band had literally inspired me to start making music. I realised to must look stupid just staring at him so I struggled a reply.
"Oh ah y-yeah I'm ah fine" I said tripping over my words. "J-just ah waiting for my friend to well um take me back to the my bus". I realised how dumb that sounding at the buses were literally just on the other side of the car park. Ben gave me a confused look but them chuckled slightly.
"You do realise the buses are just over there right?" He said turning up the corner of his mouth into a half smile. "Oh yeah of course" I said trying to casually laugh but ending up coughing slightly. "I ah just don't want to walk through the big crowd" I admitted, lowering my head slightly. He seemed to notice then how uncomfortable I was because he took a step closer to where I was standing and spoke.
"Hey, I get it. I can walk you over if you want?" He asked giving me a warm smile.
"Y-you don't have to, I don't want I ruin the party for you".
"Nah it's fine, come on" he said cheerily leading the way.
"Wait ah Ben?" I asked standing still looking down at my feet.
"Yeah?" He sad turning back around.
"Well ah I mean we don't have to hold hands but like can I hold on to your shirt or something because I get paranoid about getting lost and what if we get separated..." I rambled on until Ben held out his hand for me to take.
He laughed at my nervousness, a nice laugh.
"Come on you, let's go and not get lost'"
I smiled to myself at him mocking me, and trailed behind him.
"I'm Ben by the way" he said holding onto my hand tightly.
"Oh ah yeah, m-my name is Karina" I stuttered.
"That's a pretty name" I heard Ben say with a smile. I blushed slightly at that.
We dove into the crowd and worrying thoughts tried to to enter my head. But the only thing I could focus on was Ben's fingers entwined with mine. I blushed slightly but then quickly scolded myself. I had only just met him I couldn't be crushing on the guy. We arrived at the bus quicker than I'd expected to. Ben gave me a warm smile and open the door for me. I blushed and stepped up then turned to face him. I started to rub my sweaty palms together and bite my lips. Anxious thoughts began to enter my head once more. He probably thinks I'm weird for acting like that, he probably wanted to stay at the party. He probably...
"So you'll be okay now?" Ben spoke and interrupted my thoughts.
"Oh yeah, thank you so much for that" I said blushing again.
"We should hang out more" he said chuckling. "We're on the same tour might aswell make the most of it"
His smile widened showing his extremely white teeth. I admired the way the corners of his mouth flickered up and his grin lit up his whole face. Coming back down to earth I replied to Ben.
"Sure, we totally should" I mentally face palmed at how stupid everything I said sounded.
"Cool, can I have your phone"? He said. I clumsily handed it over, nearly dropping it in the process. He typed something into my phone and then handed it back.
"I'll see you around Karina" Ben said winking at me, then putting his hands in his pockets and walking back in the direction of the party. I checked my phone and he had put his number in my contacts with the contact name being "Ben :) <3" I smiled to myself and blushed at the love heart. I felt slightly giddy at the thought of Ben, as though I was a teenager crushing on a boy. Whatever he probably doesn't like me, he was probably just being nice. I sighed before walking into my tour bus and closing the door swiftly behind me.