Finding him

Chapter 1

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I'm here again, standing all alone in this place. Somehow it seems so familiar to me yet at the same time it seems so strange. I don't like this place, it make's me feel uneasy and I need to get out, to get away from here and away from this all to familiar feeling. I feel as though all the happiness and joy I have ever felt has been stolen from me and replaced with pain, I feel as though I'm  was drowning yet there is no water in sight. All the horrible memory's I have tried for so long suppress come rushing back into my mind all at once and I scream for help even though I know that I am all alone. Just when I can't take it anymore when the pain is about to break me, I hear a voice, his voice. It's so gentile and comforting, he tells me everything will be okay and I believe him.  Suddenly he fades away and there are people shouting again, as it gets louder and louder I scream for him to come back but he is gone. I wake up in a panic, it was a dream, I'm safe.

It all felt so real that it took a long time for me to settle down and realise I was safe and sound in my own room, my breathing is rapid and I am covered in sweat. No matter how hard I try I can't get back to sleep my mind is racing, it felt more real this time. Each time it happens I feel as though I go deeper and deeper into the dream as if my subconscious is trying to tell me something, I just don't know what yet.  Every night after I wake up in a panic I lie on my bed and relive the experience over and over in my head, trying to place that voice that sounds so familiar yet so so strange. Every time this ends in disappointment.

I finally decide to get up at 7:30 and drag myself into the shower, my body was sticky from sweating so much. As I walk into the bathroom I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the tiny mirror hanging on the wall and I hate what I see staring back at me, I hate how having cancer has changed me. All I see is a  scrawny, sickly looking girl who resembles nothing of the person she once was. I miss my long brown hair and my tanned complexion now I always look so pale and ill. The nightmares I've been having lately aren't helping things either I looked even more tired than usual.

As I step into the shower I let the hot water hitting off my skin wash away the remaining skeptical feeling still left over from last night. The hot water feels amazing on my skin, as it pours down it soothes my aching muscles and relaxes me. When I step out of the shower I feel ready to face the day ahead, today is going to be a good day I tell myself. I return to my room and get changed into sweatpants and a cardigan before heading downstairs to the kitchen where mom is already preparing breakfast, she is her usual jolly self, singing some corny song from the 80's. As I watch her cook breakfast I can't help but think how hard this must be for her, watching her child get sicker and sicker and she can't do a thing about it. My mom has gone through a lot and I hate that I'm putting her through this on top of everything else. She puts on a brave face and acts like she is okay but I know thats not true.  Sometimes when I'm lying awake at night I hear her crying in her room and it breaks my heart to think I'm causing her so much pain. I'm so deep in thought that I don't even her her call me,

"Earth to Maia, gosh you are really deep in thought is everything okay sweetie?" 

"fine mom " I reply while trying to be as convincing as I can. 

 As she puts my breakfast in-front  of me I suddenly want to vomit and before I know it I'm making a dash for the bathroom. The trouble with wanting to be sick is that I have barely anything in my stomach due to my loss of appetite from chemo. I realise I have nothing left to bring up and slowly make my way back to the kitchen. As I fall onto the couch my mom decided to bring up the one topic I really hate discussing with her, school 

 "Maya you cant avoid the situation forever, I know It will be  a change and you will miss your friends but you have to face the facts you just aren't up to it right now"

I can't believe she is bringing this up again its only been two weeks since we last argued bout this I wish she would realise I'm never going to change my mind. I can't drop out of school I would go insane if I was to be locked up in this house by myself all day.

"Mom I know this is hard for you to understand but I need to have some sort of constant in my life, I need a routine, some normality. School is all I have left I've had to quit all of my extra circulars already you can't take this away from me too"

"Maia, honey, I'm not trying to take everything away from you, I just don't want you to exhaust yourself anymore than you already are. If you really feel that strongly then I won't mention it again but please consider it sweetie its for your own good."

I just smiled and said that I would think about it even though its the last thing I want to do. Doing things like dropping out of school prove that having cancer makes you different, that you can't do things that other teenagers do and I reuse to accept that.

"Okay enough of the heavy, I was thinking of heading to the mall after I drop Layla to gymnastics, how about some retail therapy?"

Honestly I'm too exhausted to even think about going to the mall but I know my mom would like the company so I agree. I head upstairs to change out of my sweatpants and by the time I reach the top I can barely catch my breath. I change into my jeans and grab my hat which I never leave the house without before following my mom out to the car. The car journey is silent, I spend most of it just looking out the window staring at the leaves as they fell to the ground one by one like they were dancing with each other as the gentle breeze whirls them around. After mom parked the car we head towards the mall,  she loves to shop and I used to love it too but now I hate it, none of the clothes fit my skinny frame everything is baggy and unflattering. I went along with her anyway to keep her happy however after 3 stores I had enough. Even in that short period of time she had convinced me to let her buy me a dress, granted it is beautiful, baby blue with a while bow on the hip , and thin straps, beautiful but wasted on me. As we are getting a bite to eat at our favourite restaurant mom begins to wave at someone behind me and as I turn around I see that its my best friend Sam followed by her boyfriend Chris.  I've known Sam since I was 5, we met when we were kids and remained best friends ever since. She's been at my side my entire life, through the good and the bad she's been there but lately she's been busy with Chris so I rarely see her. From what I've heard all the girls in school are envious of Sam and I can understand why, she's simply stunning and its no wonder that she has a boyfriend as good looking as Chris. When Sam asks me to join them I jump at the chance, I miss hanging out with her.  The smile on my moms face was huge when I agreed to go hang out with Sam, I swear it's like I'm some sort of unsocial teenager who doesn't leave the house the way she looked at me, well maybe I am a little. We hung out for a while just talking and it was so nice, I didn't realize how much I missed it and how much we had to catch up on .We talked for over an hour yet it only felt like 10 minutes. As it begins to get late and I begin to feel tired I tell Sam that I better get going and that I will see her in school on Monday. I reach into my pocket only to realise I've left my phone at home. Great. Just great. I decide to walk towards the car park surely mom must be nearly done shopping by now.

I'm halfway there when I get this terrible headache and suddenly a horrible ringing noise consumes my head. I sit down on the nearest bench and bring my hands to my forehead, closing my eyes and praying this pain will end. That's when I hear it, that voice ,I know this voice, the voice from the dream. I looked up to see a boy about my age asking me if I was okay, if he could do anything. I just whimpered in pain I couldn't manage to answer him and then everything slowly went black.

A/N: hey guys I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and vote if you liked it. If you don't mind sparing a minute or two comment and let me know what you think. So for the next chapter you can probably expect to find out who the mysterious stranger is!! bye for now x