Michael Scott
• "I hate disappointing one person, and I really hate disappointing all of them ... But I love Burlington Coat Factory." - Michael Scott
• "I'm not a bad guy... I'm just good guy that runs over women with his car." - Michael Scott
• "Do you even know how paper is made? It's not like steel you don't put it in a furnace. Do know what would happen if you put paper in a furnace? You'd ruin it." - Michael Scott
• "Over the gums and through the lips look out stomach... here we go." - Michael Scott
• "That's what she said" - Michael Scott
• "You don't call retarded people retards, that's just bad taste, you call your friends retards when they're acting retarded." - Michael Scott
• "No, Dwight stop it...stop it right now. I'm gonna punch you...in the tooth." - Michael Scott (blooper)
• "You're not a veterinarian...you don't know ANYTHING!!" - Michael Scott
• "What do you know about conflict resolution? Your answer to everything is to get divorced." - Michael Scott
• "You don't even KNOW what stupid is... it's about to get all stupid up in here." - Michael Scott
• "No, No I need two men on this. That's what she said...No Time... but she did..NO TIME!" - Michael Scott
• "WELL, I'M GOING TO CALL THE UNGRATEFUL BEEOTCH HOTLINE!!! Did you get all that?" - Michael Scott
• "Go get yourself a monkey kidney" - Michael Scott
• "I want you to think about your future at this company...I want you to think about it long and hard" Michael says to Dwight. "That's what she said" Dwight replies. "Don't. Don't you dare." - Michael Scott & Dwight Schrute
• "Did Darryl touch you?"Michael asks Holly. "WHAT?!" Darryl yells - Michael Scott & Darryl Philbin
• "Cage matches? Yeah, they work, how could they not work? If they didn't work, everybody would still be in the cage." - Michael Scott
• "Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons, I suspect Jim Halpert. Everyone has called me Dwayne all day I thing Jim Halpert paid them to. This morning I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I committed murder, I think he may be the real murderer. I hit myself in the head with the phone. Every time I typed my name it says diapers." - Michael Scott
