MY WONDERFUL BLUE (Lesbian stories)

Chapter 2 (unedited)

I fell asleep talking to Lynn and I was plunged into a dream a peaceful dream of making love to Lynn.

I was straddling her hips while she lied down on her back looking at me with eyes that reminds me of the ocean while the sun shining down giving in light shimmering glow.

"You're Beautiful"

I remember murmuring to her before kissing her again, the kiss was soft, tender and loving. I ran my hands down her sides my touch light as feather, I dragged my lips across her cheek and kissed down to her nape.

I layed light kissed down to breast while, I encircle my hands around her waist warm breath fanned her skin and she arched her back slightly I ran fingers across spinal cord and she moaned softly driving me insane dipping my head I took her nipple in my mouth running g my tongue over th-

Ding

My phone chimed loudly alerting me to a new email rolling over I rubbed my eyes and open a window beside my bed then i took my phone off a book I was reading

"Good Morning darling" the email said and without a doubt I knew it was from Lynn a smile spread across my face I clicked the reply button.

'Good Morning baby, have a good day school oh and stay hot'

was the reply she got and without a word a knew she was blushing I sighed 'such innocence' I thought as I got ready for a crappy day at class.

***

I pressed the still hot matchstick to my wrist an odd sensation arises its hard to explain its like a release, it has the same feeling off wanting to pull my hair the tingling sensation the sense of relief when I pull the hair out, only stronger you see, I didn't normally do this but its was just addicting just like hair pulling and just like sticking myself with a needle or a safety pin.

Again and again I took the match stick to my wrist and again and again I feel the mind blowing sensation.

Again and again and again and again, over and over I love to feel the heat the numbing sensation all of it. I never knew how broken i was as I was about to get that high again that feeling of euphoria but I was drawn out of my haze

'Ding' my cell phone sounded notifying me to a new notification and not just anything it was an email from the god like creature that is Lynn, I put away the box of matches and read what it said with a smile tugging at my lips

"Abbey I had a bad day, let's talk"

And just like that I'm better I'm okay I can breathe again, god this girl is amazing.

I instantly replied why would anyone wants to keep an angel waiting so I typed my response

"I'm all ears, talk to me"

And with that little distraction without even knowing it she stopped me from something I would regret and I am utterly grateful.

And I always will be.

***

Email after email I got no reply Lynn wasn't one to blow me off or left me hanging typing up another email I quickly and sending it

"Lynn are you OK where are you"

I wasn't one to lose my head but ever since she told me she had to visit her mother.

I got anxious its not I don't trust the woman its just that Lynn doesn't trust her mother so naturally I started worrying sending emails upon emails I got frustrated with each minute that passed by while going g to write another email my mother yelled at me to get off the phone....unwillingly.

Then it begun the berating the harsh words and snide remarks the hurtful comments and the glares that shows regret to some extent, I could make out the regret, the regret of having a child that is nothing like she wanted her a child that doesn't get straight A's a child that doesn't worship the ground she walks on a child that doesn't hate gay people, faggot's , batty man, or fish as they are degraded n Jamaica .

A child that a vegetarian when she eats meat a child that doesn't want her to fun my life that what she regrets that's t in her eyes I'm not perfect because I'm not like her and she didn't Like that. I didn't and still don't hate her no matter how much I try because she has her moments when she makes me feel loved, wanted, worth it I guess I'm just a child looking to please a parent that hates all that I'm for but I still try even though I have a better chance of Michael Jackson being alive than that but I try because she did give birth to me after all.

I had always wondered if I shouldn't have been born if I was a mistake as long as I can remember my mother had always made me feel less if a person, and for years I believe that you know for year I try to draw people to me, to feel some sort of love, want, happiness.

"Bitch, you're so worthless like your father, you will not be anything"

For years that's all I heard it all started when I was seven in the second grade, she called me a bitch for reason I can't remember but who calls a seven year old a bitch to make them feel less of them self ?, for years that happened she would call me names and degrade me make me feel worthless then be nice all of a sudden I think a lot of what she said to me impact how I was how I am.

I didn't eat while I was in middle school(primary) I would just throw the food under my bed. but that didn't stop her from saying i was fat. by the time I reached high school I was a loud girl with a flirty personality that try to get attention for anyone who would spare me a glance, despite all that I never engaged in sexual activity i wanted to prove a mother that said I'm having sex wrong by my third year in high school I was some what well know but still a virgin and a little over weight that's what my mother said I started throwing up after I eat and pilling my eyelashes and any hairs I could find out all that while deal I with a newly moved in aunt that hated me and a mother that believes her sister after whatever.

they didn't see the signs the scantiness of my eyelashes and the coughing sound after I throw up.

they still didn't notice when I was in the dark contemplating whether or not I should slice my wrist to feel the pain my mother said I should feel but I don't blame them though I'm a broken child I'm was and still am not perfect.

my mother finally found out I had no eye lashes and that the start of new bantering and degrading by my fourth year in high high school she wanted to embarrass me so she showed at my school every week also by that time I had been touched in appropriately more than one by so many people I was disgusted with my image. I was disgusted by my body I was disgusted with me.