Sad Destiel One-Shots

Goodbye

  Cas had been having a pretty good day, all things considered. Dean had been gone since late the previous night, leaving only a note that he would be back soon and not to worry. So Cas didn't. Okay, maybe he worried a little bit. But he trusted Dean, so he went about his day as normal. He wasn't scheduled at the hospital that day, so he stayed home the whole time, reading books mostly, although he did finally cave and do the laundry Dean was supposed to have done several days ago. Usually Dean was good at keeping things orderly, but recently he'd started to fall off the wagon. Cas didn't mind, though, considering the circumstances. Things always got done, and that was what mattered. Cas was in the middle of folding the last few plaid shirts when his phone started to ring. It was Dean.

  "Hey. Where have you been?" Cas asked brightly, putting the phone on speaker and continuing his folding.

  "Cas..." the shirt slipped from Cas's fingers.

  "Dean, what's wrong?" he asked, picking up the phone.

  "Cas I need you to come to the hospital. Please," Dean said, his voice quiet. Cas's blood ran cold.

  "The hospital? Dean, what happened? Are you okay? Dea-" Cas was cut of by the dial tone. Dean had already hung up. Cas ran out of the apartment, grabbing his keys as he went, trying and failing to hold back the wall of panic crashing down on him.

  By the time Cas got to the hospital, he was on the verge of hyperventilation. He knew he need to calm down, and quickly, but he'd spent the whole drive over unable to stop the horrible images of what might have happened to Dean. It wasn't until Cas parked that he realized Dean hadn't told him where in the hospital he was, so he grabbed his phone and dialed Dean's number.

  "Cas?" he answered after a few rings.

  "Dean, whe... where are you? You never told... told me. Dean what happened, are you okay? I'm so scared, I'm so..." Cas didn't make it any further before a sob ripped through his body.

  "Cas, I'm... I'm okay. Just come to the lobby, I'll meet you there," Dean said. Cas wanted to continue the conversation, to demand answers, but Dean had hung up again. Cas headed into the hospital and began pacing next to the doors, trying to calm himself down. He said he was fine, he was able to call you even, he's fine. Cas couldn't make himself believe it. It was only a few minutes before Dean showed up, but it felt like a lifetime had passed when Cas finally saw Dean walking towards him, completely unharmed. Cas ran to Dean and threw his arms around Dean's neck, pulling into the tightest hug he could manage. 

  "Don't you ever do that to me again, Dean Winchester, don't you ever," Cas said, burying his face in Dean's shoulder. Cas was beyond relieved that Dean was okay, but if not Dean, then who? Dean hugged Cas back, seeming to collapse into Cas's arms, tears dripping off his cheeks onto Cas's shirt.

  "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I just can't think straight. Cas, it's... it's my dad." Cas pulled back far enough to look at Dean's face, pale and filled with grief.

  "Oh Dean, I'm so sorry. Is he...?" A tear rolled down Dean's cheek.

  "He's gone," Dean whispered. Cas pulled Dean back into a tight hug, his heart breaking for his husband. Dean's father had been getting increasingly reckless, landing in the hospital several times in the last few weeks alone for various fights and just plain carelessness. It had been extremely hard on Dean, especially with Sam being off on his honeymoon with Jess and Cas having to work so much. Cas had known John was in bad shape, but he still hadn't expected this.

  Dean let out a great shuddering sob into Cas's shoulder, holding on to Cas like he was a lifeline, and he probably was in some way. Cas knew what it was like to lose your father, and is was the worst fucking thing he could possibly imagine. He wouldn't wish the kind of pain he had felt then on his worst enemy, and now here it was, laying claim to his beloved.

  "Dean I'm so sorry," Cas whispered, placing a soft kiss on the base of Dean's neck. Dean let out one last sob before pulling away and wiping his face.

  "I'll... I'll be okay," he murmured, more to himself than Cas. Cas reached out and took Dean's hand.

  "It's okay if you aren't. No one would be," he said. Dean met Cas's eyes and Cas almost looked away, unable to bear the crushing weight of death reflected back at him. Cas should be used to grieving  families by now, he'd had to tell enough people that their loved ones were dead, but... this was his family. Nobody touched his family. But there was nothing he could do, only watch and weep with Dean, giving whatever he could.

  "Have you called Sam yet?" Cas asked. Dean shook his head.

  "I can't. I just can't." Cas nodded sympathetically.

  "Okay. Why don't you let me take you home, and we can call him together, okay?" he said, his voice steady and calm by virtue of grace alone. Dean looked around at where he'd first come from.

  "They need to know what to do with the - the body," he said, his voice halting and slow.

  "I'll take care of that. Why don't you sit over there while I do that, and then we can go home, call Sam, and then we can just shut out the rest of the world. Just you and me," Cas said. Dean nodded mutely. Cas pulled him into another tight hug for a moment.

  "I love you," he said as he pulled away. Dean just walked over to a chair and sat in it, not responding. Cas watched him for a moment before turning towards the desk and the lady behind it watching him with pity in her eyes, steeling his nerve. Dean would make it through this, and so would he. The road to acceptance was long, but there was always an end, and they would get there. Together.