Till Where We Are...

Chapter 2

Allison's POV:

6:30 am

I hear the crowd roar my band's name!! As i sing my part...*don't wake me up, if I'm sleeping this life away.. They tell me that...*

My dream is cut short to the sound if the marimba alarm i set up on my iPhone, *yawns* "Well Good Morning to another crappy day" I say to my self as i get up and make my way to the bathroom to take a shower .Today I decide to take 10 more minutes in the shower since I got up 40 minutes before my family wakes up... Here I stand with the cold water pounding my body... It feels very relaxing almost as if it was washing away all the pain and those memories... After I am done, I go to my closet and pick out an outfit for today, I decide to go casual like always, jeans, my black hoodie and my black converse, "meh okay" i say while looking at my self in the mirror, next i brush my hair and make my way down stairs to start breakfast for everyone. When I get to the kitchen, my mother is sitting in a stool in the tall kitchen table... My heart sinks as I see her whip out the tv cable... "Mother, I am so sorry... I promise I will not let this happen again, please!! Please!! Please not today!!" I start panicking. "Who the hëll tells me when or when not to put you in your place you ungrateful bïtch!!!" She says... At that moment i welcome the horrible throbbing and heat of the cable... "Mom... Mom please...!! Mom... Mo..." My words are cut short by another blow towards my arms..

I sit there in the kitchen floor while my mother looks at me, i do not bother to say anything since i do not want to make things worse... "Get up stüpid, get the fück up!!!" She yanks me up by grabbing my hair tightly "now make breakfast and fast because we do not have all fückïng day bïtch!!" "Yes mother" i say in a weak voice..

The blows that she just gave me does not seem to satisfy her, so she comes up to me and raises my chin "You are the biggest mistake of my entire life and I hate you!! I would be more satisfied if I had bought 6 of every animal than to have you, you disgrace, unworthy piece of shït" and again I feel that sting in my face... Mother leaves me alone in the kitchen but not before saying "breakfast better be ready in 20 minutes... Oh and by the way, when you are done go to your room, you do not deserve food today"

I sit alone on the hard and cold kitchen floor with my knees on my chest and both my hands on both my cheeks... All of a sudden all these thoughts fill my head... Memories.... Lies.... Horror.... Why?

I am the least favorite child, out of 3 that we are me being the middle one and the most peculiar. I try to be like them but i just simply do not like it or want to, that is not me... You want me to be like them... Forcing me into it... But i'm sorry i can't be the daughter you wish for, i'm sorry for trying my best and then fail at the end while the other 2 try and succeed... I guess i will never be like them... What's the point?? I thought i was you little shinning star... But it turned out to be all LIES!!! You are nothing but a liar! I have my dreams you know... I know i am often more in the clouds thinking of how it would be if i made my dream come true... But then you yank me back to the horrible place i have to be stuck at.... I experience depression and sadness like crazy... My brain even hurts by it... I think i am crazy, probably... But still i have to find the way to satisfy you and the others and i guess i have to pretend to be that innocent little girl whom is perfect with no mistakes just like her other 2 sisters... She graduated and got a job, got married and had kids... And i sit there screaming on top of my lungs, but why can't anyone hear me??? I'm dying over here!!! Is that what i am supposed to do the rest of my life??? By living the "what if" and "should have done it" life!?? I want more! I know there is more to life than you think, but hey i got this...!! Trust me, i wanna be me... Not like the others... I wanna change it... Live the dream, in a good way of course... But you sit there holding me back with everything you got and i seem to be under a spell or something because i stay and be what you want me to be.... And it is tiring... My eyes hurt... Too much tears