Loud Whispers =+=DISCONTINUED=+=

Rhea's Mistake

I visited Molly everyday after school the following week. It was inspiring to see her recovery. By Tuesday, she was awake, and then Wednesday she was talking and laughing. Molly still hadn't given any detail on what happened, even though the doctors and police men urged her to do so. 

Every visit after Wednesday was the same. I would stroll into the cream colored room, breathing in the minty scent from the air freshener in the corner. Molly would be sat up on her bed watching a new episode of Teen Wolf. We would watch the show together for hours, commenting on the hot guys and their abs every so often. After gushing about Tyler Posey for five hours straight, I would leave the room in search of food. 

The cafeteria always had the scent of hand sanitizer and for some reason red licorice. The room was mostly empty, a few doctors would sit together at a small table going over patient's files. Everyday, I grabbed the same order: Two cherry cokes, four small popcorn bags, and two Snicker bars. When I first met Molly, she went on and on about herself. She mentioned her love for Snickers and cherry coke, which I too shared. The popcorn was my own touch, because what's a marathon without it? 

I'd then return to the hospital room and we'd eat, and continue our marathon. Molly would then fall asleep, and that would be my que to leave.

Now, you may be wondering: How do you have this much time? Isn't there school?

No. At this school, we have a whole week for Valentines Day. Don't ask me why, but we do. So,  I thought instead of sitting at home deep in my sorrows, why don't I spend time with my only friend.

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Damien hadn't called me all that week, not that I did either. As the days went by though, it felt as if he had given me false hope, like I thought at the beginning. Something inside me knew I wasn't good enough for him, but stupidly, my mind pushed it away. It's alright though, it can't be that hard to go back to my normal routine of ignoring everyone and everything. Well, except Molly. With everything going on, she needs a friend, and I myself need one too.

It was obvious that I became attached to Damien, even though there was nothing I knew about him. He was nice to me, and he didn't treat me like an object like those guys back at my old school. His loss though, he missed out on a pretty chill girl. I try to convince myself that this doesn't matter, to not care.

But if I don't care, then why am I staring at my empty phone hoping for a call?  The world may never know, my mind is still trying to figure it out. 

My hand reached out for the phone in front of me and shoved it into the small cabinet on my nightstand. Enough of the waiting, enough of the sorrow. I hoisted myself up from the bed, making my way to the dresser at the other end of my bedroom. My arms filled with clothes to change into, and I sprinted to the bathroom.

Five minutes later, I was out, my hair pulled back into a pony, and fitness clothes covering my body. 

"Mom! I'm going for a run!" My voice yelled as I jogged down the stairs. My arm pulled on the door, opening it, and shutting it as I walked out.

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The air was nice and moist, my body did not feel too hot or cold. My feet smacked the pavement as I ran, causing blisters to form. The sadness and anger inside me ignored the swelling and continued, gradually getting faster. I sped past people, dodging them all. Mother's walked with children, couples held hands, and a few businessmen held phones to their ears. Through my observations, my breathing was getting too heavy and I had to stop. My lungs panted as my hands rested on my knees. 

My arm wiped the sweat burning on my forehead. I shook the fatigue off and headed in the direction towards home. After the first initial minutes, my jogging transitioned into sprinting. I felt so alive as I gave the running my everything. My feelings wiped away into a cool and chill one. Home was a block away, but once again, my heavy breathing halted my activity.

Dizziness formed and my mind swirled, but my mind pushed it aside, and my body continued moving. Slower and slower, eventually I had reached my house, but with my luck, the pounding and dizziness took control and everything went black.

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The phone screen lit up my face as I scrolled through the Instagram feed. Silent tears fell down my puffy face as I read the posts.

Trishh_ :

A picture of Rhea crying was showcased, the caption read, "This little slut is trying to make you feel bad for her. DON'T FALL FOR IT! She'll just sleep with your boyfriend and make you hate her! She should honestly do us a favor and pull the plug  @ReeRee1211 ." 

She's right... Maybe it would be better... NO! I would break mom's heart... She would be better without me...

My DM's were flooded with messages from tormentors at school.

Srjs334: "Go die. We don't need another whore at this school."

Daejaaa__: "How could you do that to an angel like Trish! No one wants you here!"

_XanderT_: "Hey, I heard you were easy... Wanna meet?"

The list went on, every message similar. It was clear to me that everyone wanted the same thing. They thought I should die. Maybe it would be easier... no more tormentors, no more drama, no more me...

My body scrambled out of the bed and to my white oak desk. I pulled out the little notebook my mother got me for my thirteenth birthday. My arm yanked a piece from the book and I shot for a pen. In the moment, my arm scribbled my message onto the paper and carried it into the bathroom with me.

I felt my mother shaking me as I laid there on the floor, life pouring out of me.  Her voice rang in the tiled room, screaming as she dialed 911. Everything went black.

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I jerked from my slumber, the sheets from my bed flying off.

It was just a dream... just a dream...

Tears filled my eyes and flooded the pajama shirt I was in. It wasn't a dream, or a nightmare, it was a memory. A memory I regret more than everything. It was a stupid decision that scarred me for life. I'm so lucky that I am where I am, people who have done this weren't so lucky. Most died, but some became retarded, or paralyzed. 

My mother entered the room, carrying some of my clean clothes. "Ah, you're up!"

I was at a loss of words, and she noticed. She placed the clothes onto my dresser and sat on my bed next to me. 

"Bad dream?" Mother's voice bounced with concern, her eyes showing sympathy.

All I could do was nod, the only thing escaping my mouth were breaths. Guilt was built inside me like a steel rod, hard to break. Mom's warm embrace triggered the tears to continue, harder and harder. Our bodies stayed like this for what seemed like forever.

"I am so so sorry mom... For everything...."

"Rhea, you have apologized enough, I forgive you. I have forgiven you. I love you so much,"

"I love you too mom," 

Mother laid a small kiss on my forehead and walked over to the clothes. She put them away in the drawers, keeping them neat and folded.

"What happened? I was just running..."

"Hon, you passed out. Thank god I was taking out the trash and found you before someone else did. Enough for now though, get some sleep." She continued putting the clothes away, and when finished, she walked out, blowing a quick kiss Rhea's way.

With that, Rhea fell back into a deep slumber, forgetting her past traumas for that short time.