At the age of 20 i had lost, not all, but most of my family In stages. The 1st stage was when i was 7 years old, i left school and when i walked in the house alongside my sister, I saw my mother in tears. As a 7 year old what do you really understand right? That memory i will forever hold dear to my heart. I climbed on her lap, I still remember how she smelt and felt when she hugged me not saying a word, so i looked at her, wiped her tears, smiled and said Daddy is gone because Allah needed a Daddy for all his angels, i then got up and went to shower.
At the age of 16, I lost my only sister in a car accident, her fiance survived yet she did not. The moment i heard i broke down not because everyone was saying she is just injured, i broke down because in my heart i knew the next time i see my sister she will be in he kaffin. As a muslim i am ashamed to say this took me longer to accept. i could not bear being near her kaffin, i could not bear seeing her being removed to be buried, at that point of my life i became angry and i questioned Allah, had i been with them i would have been the one to lose there life and i begged allah that it should have been me , i fell in to a depression beyond words, and i allowed my anger to cloud my mind as well as my heart, until one dayiwas alone at home, it must have been a year after she passed away, i was so emotional that i made ghusl and for the 1st time, and this ashames me to this day, i took out my musallah or prayer mat and performed my salaah. I sat on the mat for hours just praying and finally i sat down with the qur'aan and for the 1st time I felt at peace with myself and Allah. I realised that Abandoning my trust in my lord is what allowed me to feel so weak and desolute. after that i began to acept that Allahs will is for the best and as a mere human in his devine creation who am i to judge what he deems fit? I am nothing but his servent and i live to please him.
3 years later, i have just finished high school and i am studying, my Brother is Married and i have A new sister in the form of a Sister in law, Allah had blessed me and i was very blessed in life. My mom had become my rock and all i wanted was to make her proud, until the day she came home with her tests results. My mom was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Being alone my friends came by for support and i turned to Allah, after my Asr Salaah i sat on my prayer mat and prayed my heart out but i remember clearly stating that I placed my trust in Allahs Hands n he will go forward with what is best. My mom lived for 6 months and in those 6 months i abandoned my studies and dedicated my life to her. In those 6 months i grew the Closest to my mom that i have ever been and as hard as it was for me to accept i knew she would be in a better place.
These stages of my life as i like to call them have tought me my greatest life lesson, the lesson of mortality and faith. Allah gives us life and he is the only one that can command our deaths, so why not place our faith in him to allow us to live our life to the best of our ability? Why not praise the almighty for he can give and take as he pleases?
In todays times it is so easy to get pulled in to the "live life to the fullest" motto, but at what cost? Imaterial of whether we are Muslim or whether we follow any other religion should we not please the Lord before we look to ourselves?
*This part is based on my own personal experience and what i went through. How i dealt with it, and it is not based on any facts at all* *if you wish to ask any questions or want any information feel free to ask at any time, as gathering Knowledge is from the cradle to our grave*
Asalaamu Alaikum
