Love, Life, and Death

0.1

STOP. TRIGGER WARNING. There will be cutting involved. If you are sensitive to this please feel free to skip, or read with caution. Thank you, I know this story sucks, but I'm trying so bare with me!            

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                         It's the middle of the night. No one is awake. It's my time. No one to bother me. No one to stop me. No one to comfort me. They don't know. They never will. Here I sit, on my bathroom floor, with a razor blade in my hands. It feels so comfortable there, like, it's meant to be there. Already three slashes across my skin. Blood running down my arm, like water running through a slow creek. Two more and I'll be done. One for being a burden to all of those around me, and another for how much I hate myself entirely. One of the main reasons is that I blame myself for my birth parents leaving me. It was all my fault. I guess I just wasn't good enough for them. I sit there crying quietly to myself, whispering all of my flaws. I suddenly feel comforted for some reason. As if someone or something is there for me. It feels as if I am being hugged. All I can do is cry. It's gone, whatever it was. Now I am all alone again, as always. I finally gain energy to wash myself off and bandage myself up. This is only one of the first few times i've started cutting again. I quit for two full years, and now I am back at it, sadly. I get back into bed and stare at the ceiling while I cuddle my teddy bear. I received it when I was two years old. I am now seventeen, but I can never seem to sleep without it. I always sleep better after my sessions crying on my bathroom floor though, so I guess that is good. Oh well. I feel it again. Whatever it was comforting me in my bathroom is back. It's cuddling me? I am not able to think about it too much before sleep overtakes me.

---Morning---

"Mia? Sweetie? It's time to wake up." My mother says as she shakes me awake gently. Luckily I always sleep with long sleeved T-shirts on. I roll over and smile at her as she kisses my forehead. "It's 6:30, You have to get up for school." She says to me.

"Ok mom I'm getting up." I reply as I laugh quietly.

"I am making some pancakes and bacon so feel free to come down and eat before you go to school." She said smiling at me as she's about to walk out. 

"Ok mom, I will, you know I can't resist your cooking." I said as I kissed her cheek, then shut my door so I could get ready. School is almost out, and it is hot here in California. I pick out a simple dark gray long sleeved shirt that says good vibes on it, a pair of jeans, and my hightops. I go to my bathroom and apply a small amount of makeup, the usual. Concealer, powder, blush, mascara, and you CANNOT forget the highlighter. I brush my hair and straighten it. I grab my backpack and jog down the stairs to see a plate of hot pancakes and bacon all ready for me to eat. "Thank you mom!" I yell as she is leaving for work.

"Bye honey I love you, have a good day at school." She exclaims as she rushes my two younger brothers out the door.

"Bye mom love you too." I yell back. You see my brothers are in 9th and 10th grade, so I don't see why they don't just ride with me to school, but they insist on mom driving them. Who knows, boys are boys. I finish my pancakes, grab my keys, backpack, and head out the door. When I get in my car I immediately turn on my Spotify playlist which consist of the Arctic Monkeys, The Neighborhood, Five Seconds of Summer, Jeremy Zucker, Michl, Shawn Mendes, Khalid, and more. The first song to come on is Good Girls by 5sos. I knew it immediately and started singing along while I drive to school. Once I got to school I already saw my two best friends waiting for me. I smile and get out of my car, grabbing my bag. They start waving at me like idiots and smiling. I run over to them and give them both hugs. 

"Mia!" They both exclaim in the hug. 

"Hey guys." I reply. You see these two are crazy. First we have Samantha Louise Williams. She hates her middle name, and we love to just call her Lou or Sam. She's a "rebel" I guess you could say. She's gotten into plenty of trouble and she doesn't give a fuck about anything really. She's also very caring, and understanding. Then we have Lyla May Smith. She's a bit shy, but not as much as me. She's absolutely hilarious. She's not a troublemaker like Sam, but she's still not a good girl if you know what I mean. 

We all walk into our first period which is English, and I surprisingly enjoy it. I've always loved writing. Like my music or my poetry. We have an assignment to do an essay over whatever we want, and its just a participation grade. Those are the best ever. Lyla and Sam absolutely hate English. It's not there best subject. I look over and see them doodling on their papers instead of writing and chuckle to myself. I turn back to my own and begin to write about love. How it is a dangerous thing, yet so many people yearn for it. How it can also be life changing, but it can also change lives in the wrong way. As the day drags on I do my normal things and it's back to bed after a while. Maybe I will fall asleep tonight, who knows. Wait a minute, I think to myself. It is here again, and it's comforting me. It feels warm, yet so cold. I guess I have warmed upto this and before I know it I am sleeping.

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Sorry, this is kind of a filler. Comment what you would like to see, or what you think so far. Thank you! Until next chapter. Bye!

Word count: 1065

Love, Life, and Death