Cursed

5

"Remember me"

The echo of those words played in my mind like a broken disk over and over again. And I did try to remember him. Somehow I felt that every missing piece would fall right into its place if I remembered him.

Meanwhile, I just lay on the muddy ground allowing the falling rain to drop on my face, washing away every feeling I refused to acknowledge. I could feel the eyes on me. They silently watched me, not with fear, nor was it sympathy, they just watched numbly. I suddenly felt a presence next to me.

I opened my eyes allowing the water to blur my vision for a second before my brother's head covered my face. His big eyes stared at mine with sympathy. I seated myself as he joined me on the ground, "Why sympathy?" I asked.

He just shrugged my question off. And sat next to me, his silence was comforting, yet I knew he had questions to ask, they all do.

"I guess you heard about the boy" I said as I admired the moving swings.

He just nodded in response; he somehow was never one to use a lot of words, I guess he inherited that from my mother. "What if he is right?" he asked.

"About my feelings for him? About the way he entered our lives?" I asked, but it wasn't for him to answer. It was for me. What if he truly was right? What if I had someone that special in my life? I suppose I would've remembered him. "I don't think so" I came into a conclusion.

He was silent for a few seconds, those gave me the opportunity to think my words over.

I was waiting for a change, in those three years we spent in the cursed town, I only looked for that. And now that I got it, I can't seem to handle it. One day, and I felt exposed. Exposed to what? I still didn't know. I just felt that I had no control over things. I couldn't find what to believe. I was scared, I admit that, I was scared of a lot of things. The possibility of his lies being true, the impact it would hold on my reality, but mostly my feelings. Because as I started to feel people's emotions, I hid mine. I couldn't handle all of the rush of emotions that would come at once.

I saw how feelings could be dangerous, how they could hold a certain impact on people, how easy was it to control those feelings.

I felt a lot of feelings throughout the years, none of those were mine, yet I knew the danger of those. I adored the fear that made me feel the power behind it. I admired the courage that rose behind it, just in a way to hide it. You see, none of us is delivered from fear. It is always there, with every step we take and every breath we make. We just seem to hide it differently. I felt fear once, I don't remember how or when exactly, but I'm sure I experienced it. The rushing adrenaline in my veins, my shaking body for no apparent reason, my dry throat and the ball that formed at the back of it, the need to scream yet the lack of a voice. I recalled every detail, and it had me wondering every single time.

What would be the cause of that?

It was an itch I couldn't scratch, no matter how hard I tried. It kept me awake every night, it kept me on edge.

But I guess the words that left my little brother's lips gave me another reason to feel. Something I've been avoiding for years.

"I remember him"

From the moment he sat down next to me, until those exact words escaped his lips, I didn't look at him. My head snapped to his way, my eyes widened as I studied him.

"I remember him very well Nova" he added with trembling lips, his eyes, that for a second saw right through me were filled with sadness.

Before I got to ask him anything, the color of his skin started to seem lighter, his eyes were looking at a distance instead of me. I felt everything at that moment, the shadows that once looked at me from a distance were shielding him. For a second I saw fingers gripping on him, everything was going too fast for me and as I reached to grab him, he suddenly faded away.

Just like a vision or a bad dream I had, he was gone.