Cursed

9

Remember me...

I remember him...

Memento...

Have faith...

Periculum...

A high pitched scream erupted in my ears after those words. It seemed to stop me from thinking, yet it pained me even more. That scream was a cry for help, a sign of deséspoire. It was my mother's scream.

It shattered my heart into pieces with every sob that followed it. Her weeping echoed in the silent mansion. A place I couldn't escape, at a time I needed the most. I held onto the piece of fabric in my hand even tighter, feeling guilty with every paining sensation.

So I just closed my eyes and sank into the cold water, my body reacting painfully to it as my ears thankfully blocked any outside voices.

It was peaceful for a second. I was in an empty zone. The cold marbled tub was pressed against my back, my hair was circling my face feeling softer from the impact of the water and the only audible thing was the pouring water filling the hot tub.

I thought about many things and nothing at once. Whatever was happening around me was out of control. And somehow, I couldn't accept it.

Everybody seemed to ask me to do something. Every day I received new offers, though they sounded more like orders.

But why was it me? why did I have to bear this weight with me?

I had so many questions, and whenever I answered one, another would reveal itself. Yet everything seemed to be connected to him.

I wanted to reach into the blank page in my brain, the one that was scripted with hidden letters, and snatch the answers away. But it wasn't that easy. Instead I was letting go.

I could feel my breathing lowering, the water making its way inside my nostrils burning my lungs as it filled them. My body felt lighter, yet the weight I carried was still there. I knew that in a few more seconds, the burning sensation would stop and the heavy impact I felt would be washed away, opening the path to my leaving soul.

I welcomed the darkness with open arms. I wasn't escaping. I wasn't weak. I was just, stepping out. It was better for everyone. Or better for me at least.

Apparently, I wasn't looking for a peaceful escape, I needed a peaceful end. And for me, that was it. I didn't want to think about my family or my responsibility. I wanted to be selfish for once, I wanted a way out, and this was the only ticket offered for me.

But destiny sure had a twisted game to play. For it wasn't my time yet. I felt my body being carried out of the water, as two hands were wrapped around my waist. My skin collided with the cold marbled floor, that felt hotter than my aching body. I felt those hands inspecting me, brushing the hair out of my face and feeling my pulse.

It was hard for me to use my power, yet I could feel the anxiety in the person's behavior. Suddenly, a pair of soft lips were pressed against mine. The warm flesh tingled my cold one, as I felt it part my lips to blow some air into my lungs. The same hands pushed against my chest, before repeating the process. I didn't count how many times it took for the water to come furiously out of my throat leaving a sickening sensation behind it, but I recall the first thing that met my eyes as I opened them. That was the grey color that hunted me.

They were circled by a faint red, a few tears were stuck in those eyelashes that made them stand out as they observed me. I was shivering from cold, yet it was only my body's reaction, I was still gaining my senses back. The strong hands that once examined my body returned to my waist pressing me into his chest.

The sudden warmth made me tremble, the blood finding its way through my veins. And for a second, the weight was gone.

I don't remember how or when I started crying, but the next thing I knew was my hands clutching into his shirt as I sobbed between his arms. I cried after a long time. I cried for every aching feeling I had, and every confusion that hit me. I cried for my brother and my aunt. I guess I cried for my behalf.

I cried until my eyelids no longer handled it. I felt him lift me up and carry me to my bedroom. He placed me under the sheets warming my cold skin.

And just as he tried to leave I stopped him. I don't know why. There was something magnetic about him, that pulled me right into his embrace. I was thankful when he didn't need me to talk, just one gesture and he was next to me. His fingers traced my wet hair as his body hugged mine. He didn't talk and nor did he move.

He was just there.

My eyelids felt heavier and my mind started to blurry carrying me into a land I didn't visit in years. The land of dreams.