Since I Found You

I | For The Last Time

I used to be faithful and loyal to the one I loved the most. I gave my trust, I gave my all, I gave my best as much as I can. Often times, I did forgetting my own risk just to satisfy my boy. Love is when you put first your partner's happiness than your own's. My family and friends told me that it is wrong when it is over but I don't mind them, I used to listen to you always, your explanations, your reasons, your alibis, I've heard it a thousand times, I'd rather listen to you than them, simply because I don't want to lose you. I loved you that much. You're the one who made me happy, the one who made me feel that I am important and someone's priority, the one who made rainbow to my black and white world. Yes, you are that one. But just in the blink of an eye, you fall out of love. You left me hanging and broken. You changed. A lot of you had changed. You became cold and made me feel that you don't need me anymore, that you don't love me anymore. You treated me like a stranger. You always pushed me away from you. But what's more painful when you said to me that I am not the only one, that you have your other one.

You cheated on me. Damn, you fooled me. I am the original but it seemed like I am your other. I asked you to choose between her and I. You just looked away. You chose her and not me. You put away your 5 years and chose your fucking 3 months. Well, I hope that she will love you as much as I loved you.

That's our last night together. Humiling ako sayo na sana kahit sa huling pagkakataon, ituring mo akong ako lang ang mahal mo, iparamdam mo muli sakin yung mainit mong pagmamahal na binigay mo sakin noon. And for the last time, you made me happy again, you made me feel the same way. I missed that old you, I missed that old us.

For the last time, I gave my all again, na sayo ko lang nabigay. We maked love. We kissed pasionately just like before. Yes, pinaramdam mo sa akin muli na mahal na mahal mo ako, na ako lang ang mahal mo, sa mga haplos mo, sa mga yakap mo, sa mga halik mo.. kahit hindi na totoo. Tanga na kung tanga, sadyang hindi mo mapipigilang maging bobo at tanga kapag mahal na mahal mo yung isang tao. The worst is, ikaw na lang ang nagmamahal.

I opened my eyes and I saw you beside me, we were lying on the bed and both naked. I was lying on your shoulder and hugging you. And you, you are just staring at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and hugged you much tighter but suddenly, you said those words that made my eyes teary.

"I gave you what you want and we're done now. Naging malaking parte ka sa buhay ko Kath. Minahal kita nang higit pa sa sarili ko. Nasa akin ang problema at wala sayo. Pinagtagpo tayo para maging lesson sa isa't-isa and proved that we are not destined forever. I'm so sorry. Hindi ko hinihiling na mapatawad mo ako ngayon pero sana balang araw mapatawad mo rin ako. You don't deserve me. Kalimutan na natin ang isa't-isa Kath. I don't love you anymore and you don't deserve that, that's why I will set you free and please.. please let me go."

You fixed yourself and left me there alone, lying on bed and naked. I cried and cried and cried. I cried out loud. I hugged my self. He doesn't love me anymore. Ang sakit. Ang sakit sakit. In the end, ako pa rin ang talo sa kwento, ako pa rin ang iniwan, ako pa rin ang nasaktan ng lubos.

---------