Who Said It?

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Can you identify who said the following quotes?

1) “I bring the womenfolk newspapers, fresh milk and bread. The newspapers led me on a merry chase but the bread and fresh milk didn’t stand a chance."

2) “‘It’s hard to believe, isn’t it? It didn’t stop me from developing a razor-sharp wit, though, even if the townspeople did suspect that I was possessed by the devil. Four hundred years ago, no one really understood why people stuttered. They were simpler times.’

3) ‘If the bad man comes,’ he responded, ‘I’ll bravely give out a high-pitched scream to distract him. I may even bravely faint, to give him a false sense of security. That will be your signal to strike.’

4) “I am a rational man, but haven’t you heard? I’m also insane. It gives me a unique perspective on things.”

5) "Oh my God,’ he said, immediately tensing. ‘The freezing water has just gone down the back of my trousers. Perhaps we should rethink this.’”

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