NCT Dream One Shots

Anxious (Chenle)

[TRIGGER WARNING: Contains murder and suicide]

Something bad will happen. I'm not predicting it but I could feel it. The barks of the dogs are telling me to be alert. Voices of people passing outside our house are making me shiver out of fear. Everything I hear every cold lonely night is triggering me. Triggering my anxiety disorder.
I am Chenle. I have an anxiety disorder. It started when both my parents were killed by a psychotic. Now, I am left alone with my sister and with this annoying disorder. Every single night, I have some terrifying thoughts about my sister being killed by a psychotic. Doctors were trying to help me but It's taking them so long to cure me so I needed to help myself.
First, I ended the lives of all my neighbors' dogs  that are always giving me chills everytime they bark. I never thought that It would be fun to cut their skins and take out every annoying organ that are building them up. Popping their eyes was also very fun like you are popping some inflated chewing gums. But the funniest thing is that people were thinking that their annoying dogs were killed by some ancient monsters and it caused them to never go out of their houses at night. It was really self-fulfilling.
With that, I thought my disorder would go away as nothing will trigger it anymore but I was wrong. It's still haunting me really bad so I came up with another idea. It was a silent midnight. As I expected, everybody is already in a deep slumber. I pulled out the sharpened knife under my bed and went silently on my sister's bedroom. I clasped her neck and it woke her up. "C-chenle! W-what are y-you doing?" She said as she trembles in pain. "You're the reason of my disorder! Getting rid of you might help me to get rid of this disorder too!" I explained. "C-Chenle! T-this won't h-help! L-let me g-go!" She pleaded then she screamed wildly. Out of fear that neighbors would hear her screams and out of annoyance, I immediately gave her successions of deep stabs. Her eyes, her head, her neck, her tummy, I stabbed her without any hesitation. Before she went back to sleep, she uttered the word that I hate the most "psychotic!".
"Psychotic. Psychotic.  Psychotic. Psychotic." It was repeating on my head. Until I realized what happened. The thing that I fear the most has happened. My sister was killed by a psychotic. Not the psychotic who killed my parents but me. I am a psychotic! That fact disturbs me so much! It's running over my head that It makes me feel  depressed even more. For the last time, I had thought of another way to cure myself. My brain is the beggining of all of this. My brain is my problem. I grasped the knife that I used to kill my sister. As the word "psychotic" runs again repeatedly in my mind, I cried. Without any hesitation, I gathered all my strength and stabbed my head.

(Adding this story here bcos i dunno what happened to my other book. I can't add new parts)