Broken (A Niall Horan Fan Fiction)

*Linday's P.O.V.*

I walk with my head down everyday.

I look at my feet and cross my arms.

The only people I talk to are... well I don't really talk to anyone besides my best friend Niall, but he was always away on tour or hanging out with his band.

When we were 16, I told him he should try and get famous because he was such a great singer. "No! Linds, you should! Your voice is ten times better than mine!" I was too shy to try out. He made it past the audition, past boot camp, and even came in third place on the live show. After every show he would text me and ask me if I had watched and how I thought he did. When they got out he was devestated; he couldn't imagine life without singing in front of thousands of people every week. When he found out that the group was staying together, he called me and came over. To celebrate, I made him his favorite pie and we devoured it in 20 minutes.

About 2 weeks after Niall left for the X-Factor Tour, both my parents were killed in a car accident and I was sent to live with my aunt in London. I was happy because it was closer to where Niall was, but my aunt was never home and I had no one to talk to.

One day I was home alone, as usual, and sat on my bed crying, as usual. I began to think about everything; losing my parents, not feeling loved, and, most importantly, losing Niall. I hadn't lost him in the same way that I had lost my parents, but in a way I had. I looked through the door that led to my bathroom and saw my razor in the open cabinet. I had been cutting since my parents died, which was about 3 years ago. I got up and took the razor back to my bed. My hands were shaking as I slid the blades over my left wrist. It burned but it felt good to be in control of my own pain. The blood started flowing down my arm and I sat there looking at the blood dripping on my bed sheets. My phone rang and the caller I.D. displayed Niall's picture on the screen. "He-hello Niall?" My voice sounded like I was in pain. "Linds? Are you okay? Should I come over? We got back yesterday and I'm sorry I didn't call you." "It's okay Niall. And if you want to you can but...um I don't think you want to see..." my voice trialled off. "See what? Lindsay! I don't want to see what?" "Nothing. You can come over. See you in a bit!" I pressed 'End Call' on my iPhone and heard the door open. My eyes got wide. "Lindsay?" Niall called from downstairs,"Are you up there?" I hadn't told Niall about my cutting yet and I didn't want him to find out this way. I threw my razor into my bathroom and yelled downstairs,"Yeah! Up here!" I could hear him running up the stair and I started panicking. "Hey Niall!" I said with a shaky voice. I gave him a hug and felt the blood on my wrist get smudged because of the contact with his black shirt. I winced and Niall could tell I was in pain. "Lindsay, what's wrong? You can tell me anything. I've known you since we were like 5. So I think after 14 years you can trust me," he said as he released me from his embrace. I looked down at my feet and Niall's eyes must've followed because the next thing I knew was that he was touching my cuts. He looked at me with tear-filled eyes and whispered,"Wh-you're so beautiful. Why would you do this?" I felt a tear trickle down my face as I said in a barely audible tone,"I can control my own pain when I do this." His hands had red on them as he paced around my room. I sat on my bed and followed him with my eyes. I could tell he was deep in thought because his face was scrunched up and he was biting his bottom lip. "Niall. Please say something," I said, choking on my own tears. "You don't have to do this to yourself. Why do you need to control your own pain?" his voice was cracking and his face was wet from the tears. "Because. Mom and Dad are dead. Aunt Lucy doesn't talk to me, I'm just a hassle and get in the way. And I can't talk to anybody like I can talk to you. Do you know what it's like to lose a best friend? I feel like I've lost you Niall. I feel like we are drifting apart," I started sobbing like I was about to see someone I love die in front of my eyes. Niall came over and wrapped his arms around me. "Lindsay, I love you and won't let us drift apart. Ever. Now come on. Let's clean you up and bandage those cuts. I want you to meet the boys!" Yes. After 3 years I still hadn't met the boys.