Head B*tch In Charge

In Too Deep

As she sat there remembering those beautiful moments her parents would share, she realized that she had in front of her what most people would wish to have back, what she wished to have back. Her father. All of her emotions hit at one time. Remembering her childhood, getting everything she could possibly have wanted and more. No questions asked. She thought of her beautiful, sweet, loving mother. She thought how her mother was no longer here, no longer in the physical, but here is her father. She still had a living parent. 

"Lisa....honey??" 

She looked up and really paid attention to her father's face. He looked like her father, but worn down, as though life had gotten the best of him. 'Time to grow up Lisa,' she had to tell herself.

"Dad, I meant no disrespect to you, I apolo-

"No! I do not want you to apologize for what you felt, or how you feel now. As a man, I could never let you feel bad about those emotions that you harbor. What you can do, is just listen to me, and then make your decision about how you would like to proceed forward. Deal?"

She slowly eased her way on the sofa and mentally/physically, just relaxed.

"Deal."

"I will start from your 16th Birthday. I remember that day as though it was yesterday...

"I had all intentions to make your birthday party, as I always did. Nothing could keep me from my baby girl." He stated with a huge grin. "I remember buying your car a few weeks ahead of your party, and having to keep it hidden at the office so you couldn't see it. I knew that I had to plan everything just right. After all, you only turn 16 once." He stated with a shrug, looking off to the side as he relived his loving memory.

 "I had already talked to your mom and told her we would all be inside celebrating, and I would slip out to drive the car around front. I had the perfect bow for you! Everything was setup just how I knew you would like it. I mean, you liked anything that we gave you, but, this was huge for us! I just didn't know that everything was going to be on a time crunch the night before." His last statement had a hint of sadness.

Lisa was so confused, and her father could tell by her facial expressions. She was going to start asking questions, but had to remember that he told her to just listen. 

He motioned for her to hand him her phone, as he placed his index finger along his lips to signal silence. Still confused, she watched him remove the battery from her phone and set it aside. Then he continued his story. This time, his tone was dark and he held eye contact with Lisa. Just how he taught her to maintain eye contact. 

"I had been under investigation, and also had people threatening my family, all at once. You never really knew what I did for a living baby girl. You may have seen me as your father and the husband to your mother, but I am no angel by a long shot. I was deep in the drug game."

Her jaw dropped! She felt as though it was hanging open for at least 5 minutes. Her mind raced. 

'I tried wrapping my head around what my father was telling me, but it didn't make sense! I watched tv. I knew that drug dealers were never home, which my father always was. I knew that they boasted about what they had or did, yet my father was quiet and humble. There were no thugs coming around the house or anything.' Again, confused she looked. 

 "I started off as a youngin, but I always observed the ones who had been in the game. I observed those who made it big too quick, the ones who were small time, yet effective, and the ones who were just straight up reckless. As I worked, I watched and listened. I always had someone putting me up on game, just because they liked how I operated. I moved in silence and wasn't like the other boys who ran around flossing. I always taught you to observe because that's when you get the chance to see and hear everything. People show you more if you sit back and watch, because most times they will give their true intentions away. I lasted in the game so long because of this key element. I learned from everybody in order to build up my empire to be successful, which it did. I made sure I had the right people around me. Yet, I was never afraid to get my hands dirty if necessary. Most times, I didn't have to, because I had the right people to make the moves that were needed. I grew content in what I built, because I still had a legitimate business as well. I just knew that I wanted to provide the best life for my family. I wanted to give you and your mother the things you both deserved. I never thought about the price that came along with it, as I had been getting away with everything for so long." His voice cracked a bit.

"In the drug game we were taught there are only one of two ways out. In a cage, or 6 feet deep. For me though, it seemed as I was beating the odds. The investigation that I told you about, the DEA was after me. Then I had a group who wanted what I worked damn hard for! Making the biggest mistake that cost their life, threatening MY family." There was rage and anger that generated and shook him to his core. "My fucking lawyer was building a case against me all while getting rich off of my damn dime! There was  nothing else that I could do. I had to take care of things in order to make sure you and your mom were safe." 

A look of sadness arose again.

Lisa sat dumfounded, with more questions to ask. Oddly enough, she wanted more details. However, she was smart enough to know that the less she knew, the better. For her father's sake, as well as her own.

"Lisa, babygirl, my baby girl. There was NEVER a day that went by that I didn't miss you or want to see your beautiful face. Your mother knew, but there was only so much I could tell her, just to protect her and since we were married, there was no one that anyone could try to make her testify against me if it came to that. Hence the reason I can't tell you everything today. Yet, I made sure things were setup so that no matter what happened or happens, you will ALWAYS be taken care of." Her dad smiled so bright, his love exuberating.