Testimony

One

It's the last day of the month and it was also payday, so I couldn't wait to go grab some food when I get out from work. I only have about forty-five minutes left on the job but I feel like I'm going to pass out from the intense heat inside. I've been working here in this factory for almost two years now and honestly I couldn't be more happier (and tired) than making sports socks for athletes. I mean it's only for a short time before I decide to go back to school in the future and I'm helping my mother out with everything back at home. My mother's name is Miriam by the way - she's forty one years old now and she doesn't even look like her age at all. She works as a maintenance worker and custodian at the probation office complex in Cherry Hill, which wasn't too far from where I was working as well. She's been there for five years now and to tell the complete and honest truth, I despised her job more than she does. Her managers are unbelievable when comes to her doing her job there and she barely makes enough money for all the work and attitude that she puts up with on a daily basis there. They treat her so awful and I really can't stand how she comes home from work so beaten down and achy all the time. She breaks her back every single day for those people running the offices and she couldn't even get a vacation or a good raise without them complaining about it. There are times that she even held me back from not going up into the building and causing a scene because of their petty actions, but I didn't want her to get fired because of that so I just stayed out of the way. The two of us help take care of the needs of the house with my grandparents as well as keeping clothes on my brother and sisters, food on the table and keeping the bills paid and up to date. My uncle Jay also lived with us due to some personal issues going on between his girlfriend and himself and he worked at a restaurant and bar downtown in Camden. My grandfather does the same thing at the Holiday Inn in Cherry Hill and this sixty-four year old man can still kick it behind the stove any day of the week. My grandmother is basically a stay at home wife and deep down she literally hates being stuck at home so much due to her health or just being downright angry all the time. I don't blame her at all because she had a tough upbringing and she raised me for most of my life when my mother couldn't do it financially. And then we have the kids in the house - my cousin Isaac who is eighteen years old already and worked outside of Camden, and my brother Carlos and sisters Brianna, Sapphire and Elysa. All of them were still in school, with Carlos and Brianna being a sophomore and freshman respectively and Sapphire and Elysa still in elementary school but now they were on spring break. Carlos had a little part-time job working at our local corner store, you know, making his own little money and learning to take responsibility around the house from time to time. He was sixteen years old and wanted to pursue a career playing football in the majors, either for his favorite team the Denver Broncos or any team that drafts him with the amazing talent that he had as a quarterback. And as for my sisters, man oh man, they sure know how to drive me up the wall. They can argue with each other for days without stopping if they planned to but on a good day they can act like a bunch of comedians when they get together. Brianna wants to join the military when she graduates (if she decides to enroll into ROTC anytime soon) and I can see Sapphire as a singer when she gets older because she always sings in the bedroom or bathroom when alone. As for Elysa being the youngest child in the house, she's got a few more years ahead of her to decide on what she wants to do in life so right now she's just enjoying her childhood the best way any kid can do. My mother wants to open up her own little restaurant in the future when she's done working for the probation offices, it's always been her number one dream to do that and her cooking is so good it could put you to sleep on the first bite (literally).

Lately I haven't really decided on what I wanted to do when I want to go to college, maybe writing or something, I'm not exactly sure but with all these distractions happening all around me I can barely think straight as it is. Well, I don't want to say that my relationship with Jesus Christ is a distraction because to be I can't go a day without him leading me in my life. I have been really down on my luck because I feel like I don't have a purpose in life and I'm always thinking about my family majority of the time because they are what keep me going. But I wouldn't be here right now working if it wasn't for God blessing me with this job, or helping my family out or to just be alive in general. I do believe in a purpose for my life and I do want to know more about God and his word but it's been a hard struggle for me. The stuff at home gets me worried so much to the point that I can barely sleep at night and to go through this at twenty-one years old is crazy enough if you asked me. I get these wild thoughts about being a failure as a young man in my family and with my relationship with God and those thoughts sometimes get the best of me that I get upset and isolate myself away from everyone in the house. I shouldn't be doing that at all so I do what I believe God wants me to do - read the Bible, pray, go to church, help those in need, things that can keep me off the thoughts of failure and anger. I just need to rely on God and nothing else.