when depression hits...

not even goodnight...

so i doubt any of you know me so i'm ranting to a bunch of strangers but thanks. if you don't like it, feel free to say so. it helps to get it off of my chest. if anything like this is happening to you, i'm here if you need it. this chapter i am gonna talk about my mom. and my friends. my mom was taken from me. (the reason i don't want you to know me is because i don't do this for attention, unlike some people) she had stage three colon cancer. she was a coach. she died when i was taking my shower on january first, 2017. i felt it. i knew she died. it was one of those "oh no, my friend id in the hospital" kinda feelings. but worse. my friends helped but one told me i was like on i HATE with ALL OF MY BEING. that kinda hurt. but that's not the point. i fake it with some friends. but i cant make any. irl it scares me shitless. people. crouds. online im free. i can say anything. you don't know me and i don't know you but you listen and i'll listen and ill help.  i dont want to hate talking but i do. i hate it. i feel the stares and judging glances. the rumors and the laughs. but i ignore them. move on.  and i am ok. or thats what i say. really i beat myself up 10X the amount they ever could. ill stop ranting now. sorry for wasting all of our times