Blood Donor | Dark Romance | MxM [COMPLETED]

6.4

"I'm better when I'm with you," he whispers and his fingers dig into my skin as he trembles slightly. Seeing him like this makes it even worse. I don't know if it's just what happens when you live for an eternity, but he's messed up.

Slowly, he moves away from me, pain visible on his features. His eyes are glistening, wet with tears. He curses under his breath, turning his back towards me. He sits down at the edge of the bed, face hidden behind in his palms, elbows resting on his knees. I prop myself up on my forearms, watching him intently.

"When you've been through hell, you don't really care that much afterwards," he says quietly, making me realize that there's so much I still don't know. But I want to know. I wish he couldn't hear my thoughts, how desperate I am for an explanation. He sighs heavily. "What if you won't understand, even if I tell you?"

It can't get any worse. Instantly, I regret the thought, looking away guiltily even though he can't see. It's probably worse. Not just that, but really, really bad. I remember him telling me that he's killed many humans and vampires. I never thought about that much afterwards, but suddenly, it makes me afraid. Afraid of him.

"I know I'm bad. It's the reason everyone's afraid of me. And not just because I could paralyze them easily," he starts, his voice strained, then stops, cursing loudly.

"Yes. I've killed a bunch of vampires. And even more humans. Simply because I was angry. At the world, at everyone. Took me two centuries to snap out of it. But I still remember it. Everything. I remember torturing the vampires and toying with the humans. It was easy. I killed whoever displeased me, so basically everyone I came into contact with."

That's bad. Really bad. If all I knew of him were his good moods, I wouldn't believe a word he's saying. Even before today, after all he did to me, I might have had problems wrapping my mind around it. Right now, I don't doubt his words the slightest. He doesn't care about others.

"I do. I care about you," he stresses, raising his head slightly to glance at me. My heart aches. I sit up, then crawl towards him, wrapping my arms around him from behind. I rest my forehead against his shoulder.

"Then tell me what happened?" I whisper carefully. I won't be able to understand if he doesn't tell me – and I definitely won't be able to deal with this violent streak if I don't know why he's acting out like this. Sighing, he leans back against me.

"When I was still human, my girlfriend and I were stupid enough to break into a vampire's home. Thought it would be fun. We didn't know he was a vampire, of course, but he was weird and, well, one of her friends had been kind of a thing with him, but she ended up crying for days and didn't tell anyone what happened. So, we thrashed the place. Had he been human, he wouldn't have known who had done it, but we've got a keen sense of smell, so that made it easy for him to track us down.

He turned her into his pet. Raping her in front of me was one of his favourite past times. Until she killed herself. He kept us in two cells, right next to each other. We held hands when he was away. Somehow, she managed to get a knife. Didn't even bother to kill herself close enough to me so I could snatch up the knife. I watched her die. When he returned, I was furious, cursing him and clawing at him through the bars, even though he was way out of range. Even spat at him.

That night, he turned me. Saying it's painful would be an understatement. Your whole body rearranges itself quickly, killing each part, then rebuilding it with incredible healing abilities. Usually, it takes a few days. Your fangs grow first, so you can feed to get the necessary nutrients. If you don't feed, the process slows down, then it takes weeks. He made sure to break my bones every evening. I spent a year in transition."

I shiver, pulling him closer, unable to imagine what he must have gone through. He places his hands on mine and we entwine our fingers. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.