The Truth

Day 1

My name is Maya S., born in India, brought up in Canada, Ontario. Since I was young, I have always been the odd girl out in everything. Odd..... Odd because I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life at the age of 16. I knew I wanted to go save lives. I never really told anyone how I wanted to save lives. And still today at 25, no one knows.

I am tired now, I am tired of lying about what I do. How I got here. I have lost many things because of this one lie. This one lie that I seem to think will protect everyone around me.

I was brought up in a family that was very cultured, very religious, very family oriented. My values on life are centered around that very same culture and religion. I have always been taught to think about the people around before yourself. Since the day I have understood feelings, I have put others before me. I still do today.

I am an only child, so many of my psychiatrists tend to think that, my very strict parents are the reason why, I grew up to fast. When I should playing outside on the playground in the sun, making a snowman, going to the mall, eating cotton candy with my friends. I was learning advance physics and calculus.

I was an average brown Indian girl, with the stereotypical strict brown parents. I had my goals set, I knew exactly what my life was going to be like. I wanted to be a normal teenager going to high school, having a boyfriend, going to prom. I wanted the typical teenage high school. And that is exactly what I got.

My First day of high school

I had been accepted into a very famous high school called SACI for my final year. A special school for special students with great talents. I got dropped of at school, and during the ride, got that same lecture that every brown girl would get: Stay away from boys, drugs and sex. I got out of the car. Stood at the door, took a deep breath and told my self, it will be different this year. Told my self, that the past is the past. Told my self I am never going back to that life again. Told my self, that this, this right here is a new beginning. Today is the start of something new. No one knows you here. New school, new city, new people... new life.

I opened the door, walked in and boom it was like everything from the past has been erased. As I was walking down the hall of stinky teenage boys and flirty teenage girls, I was remembering all my training and work from the past year with Ben. All the fun moments, all the times he was tough on me , all the times I regretted being there and all the lies I told my parents. I owed a lot to Ben, he helped me fulfill all my dreams, but at the same time he was the reason I started hurting everyone around me. So, one by one, I started boxing those memories in a box that I was going to lock forever, and for good.

I went into the main office, picked my schedule. And headed to my first class. Did I have any friends? Oh GOSH, no!!! Like I said, always the odd one out. While I was walking to homeroom, I got a text from a private number: It's not done yet, you can never go back to your old life. This life you had, will always follow you. You have made enemies. Watch your back.

Before I could even do anything about that text, I bumped into someone. A cute someone. A handsome someone. A hot someone. Those bells, that everyone talks about. The bells, that start ringing when you fall in love at first sight. Yeah, those bells. They were ringing. This cute someones name was Sam. And that cute someone, was in all my classes. Little did I know that I had a future with boys.

I had totally forgotten about that message. Come the end of the day while I was leaving the door to go home. Guess who was waiting for me outside with the black car. Well, it was not Sam or my parents. It was Ben. What was Ben doing here? Why was he here? I had not seen or heard from him since I left, since I told the entire team I was done for good. What is going on here? I was so confused.

I walk up to Ben. We have a solid 2 minutes of no talking, just staring. After a huge sigh from both ends, Ben says, "We need to talk, you need to come back". I was furious. Had he lost his mind. There was no way, I was going to come back to that. Turns out I had no choice, I knew too much, and it was the only way to keep me and people around me safe.

So, once again, I created another lie and quit high school, told my parents I am going back to my, "old boarding school". Dropped everything and left. No more dreams, no more what I want. Time to save lives.

Certain secrets you take to the grave. 

So, what is it?

What I am hiding?

What am I so afraid to tell anyone?

Who is Ben?

What happened to Sam?

Why I am lying about Ben?

Do I love Ben?

What will happen next?

Am I 19, and Pregnant?

Till next time,

-M