Out of Reach (A Harry Styles Fan Ficton)

Chapter 3

Harry's POV

As we step into the elevator I can feel my pulse in my ears as I can already feel what is going to happen. I pull my hand from her back and rub my palms against my jeans to try and rid of the sweat that has pooled there and try to distract myself from how fucking beautiful she looks in yellow.

I'm not talking at all I know that the silence is starting to become awkward but I don't know where I stand with her. I know that I am just a hook up to her but then on the other hand she invited me to come visit her an hour away. I am truly at a loss for words, and I don't know how to handle the situation because no girl has ever made me this nervous.

When we step into the room I notice that none of her stuff is unpacked, it still rests inside of her light pink suitcases, she must notice me staring because she blankly states, "There's no point in unpacking if I am just going to have to leave so soon."

She looks sad as the words come out as she sits down on the edge of her bed by her pillows. I'm standing awkwardly by the door not sure what my next move should be. I'm being a stupid bitch.

Right as I am about to open my mouth to say anything she says so quietly that  I almost don't hear her, "Come here."

My legs move before my mind does and before I know it I am sitting on the bed next to her. I look at her and I notice things about her that I didn't notice that night when I was lost in a fog of lust. Her eyes still hold the same glimmer I remember but behind them she looks tired, exhausted, almost like she could fall apart at any moment. They're watery and before I know it my hand is resting on her thigh, "Hey are you okay?"

She sighs and her body softens as I begin to draw circles on her legs, "I'm exhausted. And that interview was terrible. It was the same questions that I get all the time." She leans back and lifts her arm up to cover her eyes. "Sometimes I wish people would ask me real questions instead of asking what they can expect on my next album."

"Whats your favorite color?" I ask her abruptly. She moves her arm from her face and looks at me suspiciously.

"Blue. It reminds me of home, in California." She says with a soft sadness behind her words.

"Why?" I push her farther, laying down next to her and propping myself on my elbow so I can admire her beautiful, deep brown skin.

"The ocean and the skies mainly. I just remember growing up and being in awe of how crystal blue the water would be."

"What's your worst fear?" I can't seem to keep my hands off of her as I spread my hand across her stomach.

"Wow already getting super deep." She chuckles before shifting her body to mirror mine so we're face to face. "I'm so scared of being alone." She's nervous now and she picks at a loose thread on the hotel comforter.

"The worst part about it is that I literally live my worst fear everyday." Her eyes are watering and I'm afraid that anything I might say might shatter the rest of her composure.

"How could you be alone? You have so many people that love you."

She laughs, but it's a cold and cynical laughter that causes me to shudder. "The thing is that none of these people that are in direct contact with me would care about me if I wasn't putting money into their pockets. And my fans, they love me, I know they do. But they can only love a surface level part of me. They only love the on stage version of me. I don't have anyone that wants to listen to the real things that haunt me. I don't have someone that will warm my feet at night or bring me wine and ice cream when I'm sad."

I bring my hand up to her forehead to smooth the crease that has formed in between her eyebrows from her sad expression. My chest tightens for her and I'm at a loss for words. I want say I can give it to her. That I would gladly warm her feet at night and I would travel the world to get her favorite wine. I don't know why but I would. I feel for her, the type of lonely she feels, I feel it too but just in a different type of situation. But I can't. I could never keep up with her life, and she deserves better.

She interrupts my thoughts by whispering, "I don't understand how I can feel so alone when I'm standing in a room full of people who are demanding my attention"

Like the asshole that I am, I have nothing to say. I'm afraid to get close to her, to open up to her, because this is temporary. I'm just another one for her, another boy in the crowd and I have to stay that way otherwise it will crush the both of us.

"You don't have anything to say?" She snaps suddenly.

I choke on my words, "I don't know what to say. My life isn't like yours."

Her mood shifts so drastically and when I muster up the courage to make eye contact with her she is sitting up and her eyes are dark. "Of course!" She stands up and begins pacing around the room, "I was stupid for inviting you here. I should've left you as the one night stand that you were."

"Ash-"

"No!" She shrieks making me jump. She's so angry and I'm so confused. "This is what I mean. No one can see past this. Everyone thinks they're so much different than me because of all this damn media attention." Her hands are trembling at her sides and I don't know what to do. I never know what to do.

"I didn't mean it like that!" I join her in her panicked state and stand up, my hands tugging at the roots of my hair. "I'm scared okay! I can't think straight when I'm around you. You cloud my mind. After last night I couldn't stop thinking of you. I couldn't stop thinking about how you looked coming undone underneath me. It driving me insane. There's so much going on in my head that doesn't make sense. You think you're the only one that has things haunting you?"

She stares at me with wide eyes before blinking herself back into her frenzied state, "Then show me Harry. Show me how much you want me."

And with that all of the self control that I was fighting so hard against ever since I saw her in that damn yellow shirt flew straight out the damn window. Before I could even inhale my next breath my hands were on her face and throat as I pushed her against the wall causing the hotel painting to tumble to the ground.

"You have no idea how much I fucking want you." I growled into her ear, causing a soft whimper to fall from her lips. "Ever since I saw you on that damn stage I've wanted you"

I crashed my lips against hers and I was once again lost in everything about her. Lost in the buttery softness of her skin. Lost in the coconut smell in her hair. Lost in her small hands gripping the back of my shirt. Lost in how her braids felt like in my hands. Lost in her hips pushing against mine and her agonizingly perfect pants and moans that filled my ears.

I felt drunk, absolutely fucking wasted on this beautiful woman that I couldn't even think straight. I lifted her up and carried her to her plush hotel bed, settling myself in between her hips. It was pure lust. Beautiful, raw, fiery lust that almost consumed me.

"I want to taste you." I rasped against her swollen lips. She desperately nodded her head and I began unbutton her black jeans. As soon as I slid the zipper down the door flew open revealing a short man wearing dress pants and a blue collared shirt. Ashanti squealed and pushed me off her body as she fumbled to zip her pants back up.

"Jesus do you not know how to knock!" She shrieked, her skin glistening with sweat. She's so beautiful.

He rolled his eyes and scoffed, "It's nothing I haven't walked into before."

Her mouth dropped open as she looked over to me to gauge my reaction. I pulled a weak smile in a small attempt to make myself appear less deflated than I really felt. I wasn't the only one that makes her feel this way.

I swallowed the lump in my throat before grabbing my things and standing off the bed. I looked at Ashanti and desperately hoped she'd have some kind of reaction but instead she sat there and stared at the duvet as if I wasn't there. Whoever the man was that interrupted my moment of bliss looked at us with a puzzled expression and I felt like the room was closing in.

"Ashant-"

"Harry." She snapped before looking up at me with red eyes. "Just go."

I nodded my head in response and to confirm to myself the truth I already knew: I would never shine bright enough to keep up with a star like Ashanti Evans.