Out of Reach (A Harry Styles Fan Ficton)

Chapter 4

HARRY
After I left Ashanti's hotel that day, my hours went so slow. On the drive home I had to fight myself to not text her. The image of her red eyes and trembling hands as she snapped at me to leave the room haunted my vision all the way home. I wanted to talk to her, to comfort her, to tell her that it didn't bother me that this lifestyle would destroy me. She would never understand the reasons why I couldn't give her what I wanted. I had to do what was best for both of us and leave her alone.

When I got home I drank the nights away, woke up the next morning with a hangover, forced myself to work, and then repeat.
It was now a Friday night and I was in the gym destroying a punching bag until my body was numb. All I felt was my muscles aching, my lungs burning and the buzz from the glass of whiskey I had just before. This is the life I deserve.

I was snapped out of my self destruction when my ringtone ripped through the silence of the gym.

"Hello." I breathed.

"Harry." My stomach dropped and immediately the temperature began to rise.

"Ashanti." I tried to convince myself I would be strong, that I could be distant. But it was her. "Are you okay?"

"No." She choked. "I need you here. I'm sorry it makes no sense. Nothing makes sense. I-" She broke out into a string of sobs.

"Shhh it's okay. I'm here. I'm here." I was already gathering my things from the gym getting ready to go wherever she needed me to go.

"It's so hard. I was so mean to you that day but I'm just scared. I know what you think of me. That I'm probably a slut for all the-"

"Don't you dare say that." I snapped. "It's not that Ashanti. I was just jealous. You're a grown woman, and it's not like I'm a saint either."

She began crying harder, "You're real with me even though I can tell you're still holding back. I don't want you to hold back. I've never been this comfortable with someone so fast. Please come with me. I'm performing at a festival with so many big important artists this weekend. And I'm terrified. It's wrecking me and I can't do it alone."

"Okay." I breathed. "Okay. Where are you?"

"Miami." Jesus.

I frantically ran my hands over my face, "That's like a 10 hour flight."

"I know. I know. I'll send a private jet your way and you'll make it on time."

"Ashanti I don't need a private jet." I groaned.

"Yes you do. I'm dragging you all the way to Miami on short notice after completely dismissing you last week. Please let me do this."

"Okay fine."

"Okay. Meet them at the London International Airport in two hours. I'll see you soon." And with that she left me completely frazzled in the middle of my gym.
-
After running around, showering and speeding for the airport I was standing in front of a medium sized private jet. I felt shitty, absolutely shitty that she was doing this for me when I could a plane ticket myself.

"Mr. Styles." A man with skin darker than Ashanti's and an accent like mine greeted me at the stairs. "I will be your pilot today. It's nice to meet you. Inside there are drinks and a menu that you can order from as you please. We will arrive in Miami in about 10 hours where a car will pick you up and take you to Ms. Evans. Enjoy your flight."

I stepped in and immediately my breath caught in my throat. The light brown interior looked like a home rather than a plane and I felt tears pricking at the corners of my eyes as it reminded me of my father and the flights we had together. I pushed the thought aside, refusing to go down that dark path and sat down on one of the cool chairs.

I immediately ordered the hardest alcohol on the menu and drank several glasses until my anxiety and my self doubts subsided and I drifted into sleep.

ASHANTI

It was 4 in the morning and I know I should be tired but I was so excited to see Harry. I couldn't stop thinking about how absolutely perfect he is. His messy curls that he pushed up so effortlessly. How he looked stunning in a simple black t shirt and black jeans. How his lips were so soft against mine but his hands were rough against me.

When a knock came against my door I jumped up from my bed and was almost brought to my knees at the sight before me. He was beautiful, absolutely fucking perfect. His hair was curly as ever and his lips were pink and swollen. A white T-shirt was revealing his dark tattoos underneath and a slight blush creeped across his cheeks. But when I snapped out of it the smell of alcohol overwhelmed men

"Hi love." He slurred.

"Harry." I frowned. "You're wasted."

He chuckled, a dark, low chuckle. "I know. Come here."

Before I could protest I was wrapped up in his arms, relishing in the warm that radiated from him.

"Come sit." I mumbled into his chest.

With that we sat in the bed and wrapped ourselves up in the sheets and the duvet, my legs crossed over his. "Why are you so drunk?" I asked annoyance bubbling in my chest.

"A man can't have a few drinks on a plane ride?" He scoffed, scooting away from me.

"No. You can." I sighed "I don't know."

"I stayed away from you for a reason Ash." My stomach fluttered as his nickname for me. "You deserve better. I can never, ever step into your spotlight."

"You don't get to tell me what I do or do not deserve. And like you said, it's my spotlight and I get to choose who is in it."

"What if i don't want to be in it?" He snapped. I looked over at him, my mouth falling open slightly. His eyes were a dark green, almost black and they were bloodshot.

"Okay." I didn't have the energy to fight anymore. I was so exhausted from waiting up for him, only to be disappointed.

"Ashanti I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. Come here." He asked me for the second time. I closed the gap between us and he enveloped me in his arms. "There's so many things about me that make it so I don't want to be your spotlight for your sake."

"Why won't you just tell me then?" I asked drawing shapes on his jean clad thighs.

"You don't want to know." His words sounded so heavy and when I looked up at him his eyelids were drooping. "I don't want you to hate me as much as I hate myself"

He whispered the last thing so quietly that I almost missed it, but the small words shattered my heart as he drifted into a drunken sleep.

A/N

Stay with me y'all, beginnings are always so hard for me to write. Xo