A Tremulous Test

Chapter Four

The wound-up knohm landed on the windowsill with a thud, lost his footing and almost fell backwards into the icy river, but Fürgůïn grabbed his beard, levered the window ajar and gave him a hefty shove, sending Razzles sprawling through into the relative gloom of the bridge's interior before springing in behind him.

Both gasped as their eyes fell upon the scene before them. There were Grimmbros, Norris and Ebore sitting comfortably around a little circular table apparently enjoying steaming cups of tea and something that looked very much like jam cakes. The three stared open-mouthed at the trio of unlikely assailants (Fürgůïn's pet tibmibling had been dislodged from his shoulder and had assumed battle posture at his ankle) and for a while all was silent. An almost tangible thing, the silence hung in the air; stillness filling the room like a bubble about to burst. Razzles coughed quietly, not because he needed to, but because someone ought to.

Motionless, the halflings crouched letting their eyes take in the true horror of it all: a tea-pot and matching crockery; a cake stand; a delicate china cup in Ebore's raised hand; a lacy table-cloth with individual placemats and, perhaps most shocking of all, doilies!
Razzles cracked first, "We've got to save him!" he cried turning over a small stool, "Let's trash this place, slap some green and get him out before it's too late!"
Fürgůïn was onto it, he sprang forward and grabbed Grimmbros' hand, pulling with all his might. The urgh-bane allowed himself to be pulled sideways to about a forty-five-degree angle on his chair and remained there unimpressed. All he said was a disinterested, "Ohhhhh."

Seeing that Ebore and Norris still had their sizeable mouths open and weren't rushing to assault anyone, the renling redoubled his efforts and managed to drag his urgh-bane friend off the chair. But Grimmbros it seemed wasn't inclined to help, instead he just went limp and slid onto the floor like a green, silk sack of turnips and lay there looking resigned. Razzles, still panting from his efforts with the stool, rubbed his neck and looked round for something else to vandalise, then paused and whimpered, "I think I've pulled something. Oooh me neck!"

Fürgůïn again tugged at Grimmbros' arm with all the strength he could muster. The big urgh-bane slid about half a hand span across the floor and heaved a big sigh. He didn't seem at all disposed to shift. Razzles and Norris exchanged meaningful glances. Norris seemed to be wondering whether to offer to resuscitate Grimmbros and Razzles was wondering if he dared encourage her. Both said nothing. Finally, the exhausted renling gave up pulling and also went, "Ohhhhhhh!"
His was a long drawn out 'oh' that trailed for while, dropping in pitch before building to an emphatic sudden resigned end. Razzles slouched his way over and sat on the side of Grimmbros' head, with his chin on one of his palms, the other the other hand stroking his strained neck muscle.

Looking up at Ebore and Norris he offered, "Well, that's that. Just get it over with. Come on - eat us."
Ebore looked imploringly at Norris who responded by slapping him loudly on his shiny bald head.
"It wouldn't be good for business," she scolded, "Eating guests knocks a whole star off your rating."
"But I don't want to turn the bridge into a stinkin' guest house," the unhappy oafe moaned.

Norris paid him no heed and getting to her feet headed toward the inert urgh-bane, advising, "Back to bed for you, another day or two's nursing and you'll be right as rain. Everyone likes it at Aunty Norris' place."
Grimmbros unconcernedly allowed himself to be hoisted to his feet whilst the cheerful Norris chided, "Come along, out of the way you pair of scampy, campy imps - you impy wimpy little scamps. You can help me look after him, he'll need someone to carry his breakfast upstairs. You there in the pink tights, bring the jam."

Grimmbros turned his eyes towards the halflings at this point, the slightest hint of a grin animating his lips.
"He's enjoying it!" Razzles whispered accepting the jar of jam that Norris entrusted him with - it smelt fusty.
"All I want is to live under the bridge," continued Ebore unimpressed with the situation, "threaten folk and have a quiet life. I mean - lacy curtains and doilies - what's an oafe supposed to do with them!"
But the oafe's wistful dreams went unheeded - they always did. Norris lugged Grimmbros onto the stairs,
Razzles carried jam and Fürgůïn did as he was told and went off to make some toast.