eliminated

:7:

i'm so so so so so so sorry idk why i cant get past this thing where i write really badly and i have no idea why i cant write well but here's the next chapter i hope you kind of like it :/

what to listen to while reading this chapter:
"angel on fire" -antony and the johnsons

•~•

i didn't care. i didn't care about anything, or anyone else in that minute. this was the moment i had been waiting for in my whole life, the moment where i finally found someone who cared about me and understood me. i finally found myself again.

how could my parents lie to me? i understand that they were trying to keep it hidden from the society, or else they would be executed. but they should have seen, seen that i was different. i am different from them. but no, my parents were desireds, loyal to the society and all of its rules, not even making an exception for their own daughter. or daughters.

"how..." i stuttered, still in shock. then magically, a question formed in my blank head. "um. how old are you?"

karina paused for a second and looked up, making a pensive face. "i've just turned one hundred and ninety six months."

what the... i cleared my throat. "do you know how many years that is?"

she shook her head. "we don't use that unit of measurement anymore."

now was the only time where i could understand why paying attention in math class would be helpful. i was never really exceptional at math, even though i was again, one of the best in my year. it had always been a struggle for me because i could never really comprehend how it could be applied to real-life situations. my teachers would tell me that i had to do it because they said so. but i wanted a real reason. i wanted a purpose. sure, the first few years are helpful. but it's about time that the society realizes that everything else just doesn't matter. i concentrated hard, trying to convert the months into years.

sean beat me to it. "sixteen years and four months." i heard his voice behind me.

"i'm sixteen." i said. "my birthday was november eighteenth." i counted forwards four months. it totaled to the number that karina had said.

we locked eyes for a second. i could feel and hear the howling wind, trying to tell us about what was to come in our future together. the outlaws surrounded me, not commanding and challenging like before, but instead protecting. welcoming. giving.

"you're my twin." karina said breathlessly.

everyone gasped loudly. i sucked in a sharp breath. i could see the resemblance between us now. the stormy yet light eyes, always seeking more out of life. the manner that we looked over people with a commanding but proud gaze. the way that our muscles rippled when we jumped over or down from an obstacle. and most of all, the way that we didn't trust people at first sight. i'd learned that if i wanted to survive and be respected in the society, trust wasn't going to get me there. i bet that she had especially learned that working her way up the ranks to be leader of the outlaws.

"um." aidan cleared his throat. "i hate to interrupt the 'moment', but what exactly are we going to do now?"

karina looked at him sheepishly and put her hands in her pockets. "well...i would have sent you on your way if the circumstances weren't like this. but now that we know that lila and i are related, the law of the outlaws (that's a tongue twister) states that she must stay."

she must stay...

she must stay. her words echoed inside my head. at first i was softened and grateful at her benign words. i couldn't believe that i had a sister. i couldn't believe she was my twin. i couldn't believe that she wanted to get to know me, and be my friend when no one else could, just like my aunt did before she died. no one can replace my aunt. but karina might be able to come close. even if it was law, the fact that she was being so nice, so kind to me...it was starling. it woke me up. no one had ever been like this to me before. maybe i could really be happy here. maybe...