I wasn't fond of happily ever after endings, I believed that that's never likely to be appreciated by someone like me.
Wall flowers aren't happy to be in their situations they are afraid. They want to explore though, something are taking their path ways to do so.
I never ask for more disaster as knowing my self as one. I never get anybody know me very well because Im afraid.
I watch them laugh afterwards stare at me like I'm a suspect in someone's murder, and something's taking my tought I have to go for the better. I hear them chatting behind my back but I should not bother though it kills me inside. I've always been like this afraid. I wonder why they bother talk about someone with no one to be with.
Im never proud and good with other people it always feels like alone and afraid.
Passing through them everyday as to be with the bed is achievement, simple it seems but struggle as I call it but I thank God I'm able to surpassed it in every day of my life.
I thought I'm too naive, but I found that its the fear that covers all through me.
Until something took my attention and says
" you don't need always need a plan. sometimes you just need to breath, trust, let go and see what happens"
-mandy hale
Reading books and reading peoples mind is always my past time but I asked if I really have to.
"what lies behind us, and what lies before us arr tiny matters compared to what lies within us "
-ralph waldo emerson
all these things under the sun on this day of March 6th. After all those thought I'm still with my self.
I stand up from my comfortable sitt form that beautiful umbrella like tree which happened to be isolated by most of the students, has been ''my place'' through years, I put the ear plugs and listen to music as i walk ahead towards the corridor. As I face the door to lead me to where the sensitive crowd is, i took a stare to the tree and silently thank it for being so nice, quiet and a good listener to me. I hope it can stay for so many years, and keep the strong figure that I'm looking forward to be.
I opened the door and look down, I walk and tell my self not look at the people and check if there's someone I know. I continue and suddenly heard a similar voice from behind that sounds like its calling out my name, but out of blue i ignore it and continue to walk on.
''Elisa!!! careful!!!''
I felt the alarm of the voice and look behind to check who is it calling me and telling me to be careful but it was too late to warn me. I bumped into the huge wall. Disgraced it is and so I am. It is Matt calling me. I did not understand what he is talking about because of trouble that just happened. I wanted to look at him but i suddenly felt afraid on what I might see after what took place. I heared some giggle and from that I'm afraid and humiliated by my self I can blame no one but my self. I did not pay attention.
Matt is my cousin, I wonder how and why he's here at school. We are not even closed. It might be Dad that send him here. But why?
He came to me and ask me. '' Are you okay?'' ''Yeah, I'm fine.
Just not usual for me to hear my name from nowhere.'' ''Okay, I guess nobody tried to call you before that way.'' he said
''Ah, in that case, actually yes..? oh.. but, so why are you here and..'' I notice that he is wearing the school uniform for boys. Does this mean he is a transferee??! But I felt that my forehead aches from my lack of attention a while ago so i dump my hand on it. I started walking to get out of the curious sight of the people around and so Matt follows.
