If You Love Me

Chapter 5: A Distant Reflection

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That was the numbers the golden plaque displayed proudly on its chest as it hung from the door.

A grin crawls your lips, the sign a nuisance and a friendly reminder that once again this room was unlike any other.

Oh no.

It was his room. 

The same room that belonged to the tenant which just so coincidentally happened to be the man that Coco just had pee on in her 2 minutes of freedom the one time you tried to walk her. 

"Great." You grumble, sweeping the strands of hair from your face in an effort to appear presentable and business-like. A smile plasters itself to your lips, your fist coming into the contact with the mahogany wood, the sing-song of your knock awaking the man within the room from his deep slumber. 

Yoongi groans, the sun shinning rays of disappointment on his face, a sharp pain striking his head as he shadowed his eyes with his palm. 

Another wordless night had passed.

His gaze wandered to the glass bottle laying carelessly on the floor, lips pursing.

And another night of pain had passed too.

His slender fingers follow the sharp turns of the wooden frame, dust coating his fingers with each centimeter he moved. An irritated grin twists his lips as he considers the picture through the glass. 

A time when everything was right. 

Dry laughter drains his chapped lips as a hand rakes through his obsidian locks.

Wasn't it ironic — That over time, more and more, he was molding into the people he hated most in this world?

He sure thought so.

As time went on, season by season, year after year, he had felt himself grow numb, detached —lifeless.

The more he looked in the mirror, the less he could recognize and the more he felt he was pretending.

The piercings.

The clothes.

His conscience.

He couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't. He didn't even know who he was anymore because he had lost himself in a complex labyrinth twisted with tricks and lies.

Instead of feeling like a person, he had transformed into the doll, a lifeless creature controlled by the strings it was attached to.

The universe had moved on his behalf, made his life decisions for him — planned his happiness.

A dry chuckle spills from his lips. "What a joke."

What happiness could this universe provide anyways?

As Yoongi grew distant with the reflection he could once call himself, he deluded himself that he'd become the person he'd always hated.

The same person he was trained to be.

The figure that sat in a corner and cried. The weak and pathetic person that watched in horror and remained motionless as everything happened. The same person that was a useless child from the start.