𝐈𝐈; 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑

𝘼𝘾𝙌𝙐𝘼𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙀𝘿

"all of this love is toxic, all these kisses and hugs is not shit"

toxic ( kehlani )

-- ✞ --

i woke up early, having slept soundly and dreamlessly thanks to the drug abuse. i deliberately had taken sleeping pills to shut out my thoughts of the man, and although it wasn't the most responsible choice i had no other choice, it would be hard for me to get through the day without me being loopy from sleep deprivation on top of everything else. though i was well rested, i was on edge and jittery — now and then, almost panicked.

i really did not want to go to class, and i thought about a little healthy ditching, but i decided it would be irresponsible. i knew if that I disappeared now, maggie and ariana would assume that i'm depressed again, but i really wasn't. i was still struck about what happened yesterday with the mystery man, and i knew if i didn't go i'd eventually have to explain to them what happened, and to be safe i would have to go to class.

i felt certain that i would see him today. i wanted to keep my eyes open for him, i wanted to see him again for reasons unknown to me. the thought of not seeing him again was painful to me.

in homeroom, ophelia bugged me to tell her all the details of last night. i carefully explained to her my little anxiety attack with him.

she was suddenly sulky again. "are you okay, love. i'm sorry this is my fault!"

"no no i'm fine, don't worry. it's not a big deal."

"are you going to talk to him again?"

i lied cheerfully. "definitely not."

she frowned. "did he seem interested in you in any sort of way?"

"don't i wish," i said, smiling. "he's much more high class than i am, i could tell just by looking at him that he needs a bad girl that would bond with his personality and looks, not a turd like me."

ophelia perked up. "and you could be that bad girl he's looking for."

"i'm not going to be that whatsoever, okay?"

"fine," she snapped. "It was just a suggestion."

"and i love you for it," i gave her a quick hug as i turned my attention to the front of the room, letting my thoughts return to the man as i planned how to find him.

-- ✞ --

it was finally lunch time, and i had my chance to roam around campus to look for him. it seemed as if i was destined to find him.

after checking in every hallway and every corridor, i entered the library. i was welcomed with a refreshing gust of cold air from the air conditioning, the silent whispers from each corner of the massive library was soothing, the dimmed lights made it immensely comforting.