TRUST ME | Brothers Conflict | ✔

23

Even Ema's clothes which I clutched in my hands couldn't conceal the trembling in my fingers. Swallowing, I glared at the doorbell, hoping that the doorbell would ring itself.

If I let go of Ema's clothes, I couldn't ignore the trembling anymore.

On the other hand; standing on the porch was going to draw attention at some point. Even with the turnpike gates and the trees that obscured the view on the road, I couldn't suppress the eerie feeling that all passers-by knew that I didn't belong here.

"Why am I so stupid?" I whined.

A part of me considered running away, but Ema opened the door before I could decide. At least, I wouldn't have to ring the doorbell, but it wasn't as much of a relief as I had presumed.

"[Y/N]!" she exclaimed surprised, already reaching for my elbow with one hand and for the clothes in my arms with the other. "I wasn't sure whether you would show up."

I hadn't been sure myself either, as doubt had settled in as soon as I had left the supermarket.

I barely had time to slip out of my shoes before Ema led me to the living room.

For a moment, we stood in the doorway.

Immediately, my gaze landed on Kaname, who was sitting on the armrest of the couch, talking with a woman with long red hair. For once, his hair wasn't in a ponytail, the locks hiding his features. Then he laughed, throwing his head back in his neck, the blond locks following the movement. His expression was unguarded, which was a far cry from the cautiousness he had shown around me when I had confessed.

"[Y/N] is here," Ema announced, giving me a little push that made me stumble forward.

Kaname had already turned to me by the time I looked up again; and our gazes met. The unguarded expression from before was gone; replaced by the apprehension I hated.

I should never have gone to this party.

"It might be better if I leave," I whispered, taking a step back, "he doesn't want me here."

"That's nonsense," Ema argued, probably reaching for last straws here. I didn't know what my absence meant for her precisely, but it wasn't hard to make a guess.

Kaname would most likely point his arrows at Ema, which didn't sound like a bad idea at all to me.

She was lucky to be loved.

I knew why she struggled with the affection of her brothers, why she found it problematic. Still, I couldn't help but wish that there was someone -one single person -who would love me like that.

And an inane part of me wished for that person to be Kaname.

"I'm going," I insisted, shrugging her hand from my elbow to be able to return to the front door.

If Kaname had said something, I would have stayed, but he remained silent. His expression was empty, what he felt carefully shielded behind a mask of indifference. The urge to break that mask was sudden and insuppressible.

"I'm sorry for ruining your birthday," I spat. Before I could start apologising, I stomped to the door, slamming the door shut behind me.

I had already taken a turn left outside the gates when the lack of shoes on my feet caught up with me. Groaning, I stopped walking, wondering whether I could sneak into the house to take my shoes back.

Well, after successfully crashing the party, it wouldn't do any good to make a second appearance, even if it was to collect my shoes.

I slumped against the cold metal of the gate, staring at my socks. While I knew better than striking up a camp just outside the gates, I didn't know what a good next step would be in this situation. Although I had more than one pair of shoes, I didn't want to leave this specific pair behind.