Heart Worries.

All Of Me

I have grown to be accustomed to pain.
To hate, to hurtful words.
To the looking down on me.
To the beatings and the pressing. 

I have learned to cry and console myself.
I know what it feels to eat and be thirsty, to drink and be hungry.

I have learned to stay out in the cold, under the rain, under the sun.
To live under a truck.
To bath outside as early as 4 am so people don't see me bare, just like when the whip is used harshly on my skin.

I know what it feels to be wanted,
To feel loved, at least from one person.
I know what it feels like to crave for trust and protection from a father.
I know what it feels like for a father to only notice you is when you are handling him some cash.

I know what it feels to be strong for everyone even when you are losing it.
I know what it feels to watch everyone around you get what they want, easily.
To be beautiful, smart and loved.
And you just don't get any of that.

I know what it feels like to be attended to only when they are kicking you out of school for lack of payment.

I know what it feels to wear what someone has worn. Even when it should be burnt into ashes.
From a shirt down to a pant.

I know what it feels like to be invaded, sexually and painfully.
I know how it feels like to hate your body.
To despise yourself.

I know what it feels like for families, friends to desert you.

I know this and many more.
I know all of this cause this is me.
All Of Me.